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My 13 year old is dealing with her first heart break. I want to be the protector and make it right but I know I can't. What can I do to help her through this without trying to fix it. How do you be Mom and Friend?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • You can just be there for her. Try and explain how young she is and that there will be plenty of men in her life. The first one always hurts the worst. Be supportive to her and try and distract her from  thinking about him too much. Have a girl's night and make popcorn or watch movies. Talk it out.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:27 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • you have to let her have her heart broken. You have to know bad to appreciate good.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 12:15 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I'm a mother of a 16 yr old. I just listen to her alot and try to understand her we use to fight alot until I just stop with the fights and just listen to her they have to learn that some things are hard but we can get thourgh this together know we are best friends and I'm still her mother to I very proud of her and your daughter needs to hear that alot from you. 13 is a hard yr. but with alot of love you will see the other end God bless you both and I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
    Tammy290

    Answer by Tammy290 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I am a mother of a 13yo DD and we just went through the same thing. My best advice is to keep her busy and let her know that you are always there for her, no matter what. It is so easy as an adult to say, whatever honey, you're only 13, life goes on, this is not the end of the world, and so forth. Problem is, to them, it is. Life is the HERE and NOW! There is no future, they aren't there, they are here. My daughter seemed to be over it, and then her ex, his choice, posted info on his myspace bulletin ragging on my DDs lack of....affection, to put it nicely. Thankfully I monitor all visits to her myspace so I was there for the hurt and anger.(An aside....small towns stink sometimes!) Well I hope that all goes well for you both. Does your DD have an older sibling, cousin, or a young aunt that could council her? Sometimes as mom we know nothing..... and if they hear the same thing from someone else that we just said it can reinforce our status as a "cool, knowing mom".Good luck.
    Mae5

    Answer by Mae5 at 11:58 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • Well I don't think that a thirteen year old should be dating, She should be involved in other things, other than dating. My husband and I would never let out daughter date at thirteen. 16 is when she can. CRAZY.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I am 17, and the best advice I can give you (coming from a teenager) is to just let her know you are there if she needs to talk. When I went through this, I just wanted to be left alone, and didnt really want to talk to anyone about it except my friends. But I would definitly just let her know that you are there if she wants to talk, but dont try forcing her to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Sit down with a box of tissues, some ice cream and Earth, Wind and Fire -- After The Love Is Gone. I let her know I was there if she needed me.........she worked her way through it in a couple of days. Good luck.
    ToldUNo

    Answer by ToldUNo at 1:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • She had a crush, not dating...........but the fall out was just as bad.
    ToldUNo

    Answer by ToldUNo at 1:07 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Sit down and let her talk and you listen then if you had an experience of young love gone wrong you can tell her about your experience how it affected you but then you moved on and was better for it, let her know she is young and that sometimes love does hurt when its not returned but there will be others and you will always be there for her...
    hellsfury

    Answer by hellsfury at 1:07 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I bet NO ONE on here will agree with me, but this is my opinion. If she is THAT devastated, you may want to look deeper. It is pretty impossible for 13yr olds to get TOO emotionally attached unless they have had a sexual relationship with their g/f,b/f. When it becomes obsessive & they become depressed, normally it is because they have had this sexual attachment to them that they are not capable of handling at their age. I personally dont believe in 13yr olds dating, and I dont know if this is her case,But how attached can she be over phone conversations, text messaging, and SUPERVISED getting together? See my point. If she isnt better in a few days, I think you should be concerned on what she &this boy have done together. I hear more & more of very young teenagers giving oral sex & having sex just to please the b/f. And obviously by the ages of girls on here pregnant, it IS happening. As a footnote, i have worked in the mental health profession-this is no wild random statement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

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