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If you know deep in your heart you would not be with him if you guys didnt have kids together should you stay even if its easier to just stay cause he helps picking and dropping off at daycare

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shorty00207450

Asked by shorty00207450 at 12:01 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Doing what's easier isn't about the kids..it's about you, and you shouldn't be thinking about you in this situation. If you aren't happy..that will effect your children. Let your children inspire strength to do what's best for all of you at the same time..and obviously..the current situation is not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • This is so sad, but also pretty common, you certainly wouldn't be the first Mom to wait it out through the tricky early years.
    I can tell you that my first 8 or 9 years of marriage & parenting were so hard that if you'd asked me then if I felt the same as you do, I would have totally agreed. I felt like my DH & I were just bouncing off each other & he didn't understand.. you get what I mean.
    Then something changed & we have been in such a better place, been married for 17yrs now & I am so in love with him. We have found each other again and it's lovely. We have settled into ourselves, our parenting & our lives together. We were very young when we got married & we have no idea about give and take.
    So Unless you are certain you don't love him, don't give up on it. Sometimes it is just that you are spinning so fast to do all that you do as a Mommy that you lose touch with the man, it may not be permanently gone, just hiding
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:15 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • It's better to be happy alone than miserable together. I stayed with my ex for years after I knew the only reason we were together was 1. for the kids, and 2. because it was "safe".
    The best thing you can do for your kids is be true to your heart. They need to see a positive, happy, healthy mom - and you can't fake something like that.
    If you want to be with your husband and the "fire" is just fizzled - consider counseling or something. If there isn't a chance in Hades that the 2 of you will ever be happy together - get out now before things turn ugly and resentful.
    1Katrina

    Answer by 1Katrina at 12:55 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • But you do have children together, so this is not just about you. It's about them and it's about their need for a daddy. You chose him to be their daddy, so there must be something attractive about him to you. Go back and find that thing and build on it. Warm fuzzy feelings are not what makes one happy. Happiness comes from pouring your life into the lives of other people and forgetting about what you want and what you need. Once you have children, you have made the commitment to seeing that they have the very best lives you can give them. That means that first and foremost, you need to give them the security of a stable home and the presence of their daddy. You have a man who is interested in his children and who is helping to take care of them. Your children deserve that. The time to have made the decision that you didn't want to be with him is past. You already chose, and he is their daddy. Make the best of it!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • That just sounds sad.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:36 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • No I would not stay because I would rather they be from a broken home and not have to live in one.
    annie610

    Answer by annie610 at 9:38 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • it all depends how it effects you... if it bothers you. you should end it. if you dont care.... and there is no abuse and no real problems other than you dont feel connected i would say you should rekindle the flame and just see what happens. yes a lot of people go through that.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:43 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • It depends on if you are only bored or if he did something truly horrible. The next guy can be boring, being alone is borrring but you might end up alone. If he's really all that bad then get out but don't be expecting a prince to come along just because someone else said it happened to them. If you have anything worth saving, work on saving it because you won't get it back when you see someone else enjoying it. I learned this lesson the hard way. I'm lonely and jealous and nobody to blame but myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

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