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How would you react if your 19 year old daughter came home from college and told you she was pregnant?

I want to react the right way but the truth is I'm heart broken. This is going to make life so much harder for her. She has a 4.0 GPA and needs to keep it that way to get into medical school. This is going to be so hard on her and I don't want her to give up her dreams of becoming a doctor.

But at the same time the more I think about it the more I AM excited about the idea of having a baby around.

She wrote me a letter and asked me to read it in private. It was a 3 page letter telling me that she is pregnant and that she's sorry.

She's waiting on me to come talk to her in her room. I just want to react the RIGHT way and say the RIGHT thing to her. We have a good realtionship and I don't want to reuin it so I wanted to get some advise from other moms.

Thanks in advance.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • I would just give her a big hug and tell her you are willing to help her still achieve her dreams.
    Good Luck Momma! I can't even imagine how hard this is for you both.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:39 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Be there for her. Be supportive. I'm not sure what the situation is with her and the baby's father, but having a baby is NOT the end of the world, nor does it mean the end of her education.
    I was pregnant with my 3rd child, working full time, and a single mom when I went to college - and I graduated with honors.

    The right reaction would be to let her know that you love and support her. Don't judge. She feels like she let you down - she needs to hear that you love her & that you are proud of her, and that you know she is strong enough to get through this.

    Answer by 1Katrina at 12:41 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • give her a hug, tell her it's okay, you've obviously done all the right things to get her to this point, so trust yourself to say what she needs to hear from you. A baby is never bad news, no matter how they come into the world.
    Good Luck

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:44 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • ohhh good answer well said 1Katrina

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:44 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I'm no where near having a 19 year old, but if it were my child, I'd hope I wouldn't freak out on them. I don't believe in abortion, so I wouldn't even bring it up as an option. I'd let her know about adoption and taking care of a baby as a single mom.
    I'd ask her questions like:
    Does the father know your pregnant? Is he/will he want to be involved?
    What's your plan from here?
    I believe in responsibility for actions, so I wouldn't be the kind of mom that would be a crutch for my daughter. My in laws did that for my sis in law, and now she depends on them for half the parenting of her child. So, tell her now, that you will support her in anyway you can, but won't be her crutch...she needs to do this as much on her own as possible.
    Love her, help her, and support her, and make sure she knows what she's getting into.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I was pregnant at 19 years old. I was nervous to tell my mom/parents because I thought they would think less of me.

    My best advice for you is go in there open, and understanding. Remember it's not only about your feelings, she's got to be going through a lot herself. You as a mom should be there to support whatever decisions she's making. Let her know you're there for her. Then when you voice your opinions it may be openly accepted.

    Going to college with a kid is hard. Especially homework. It is however possible. Especially with a good support system.

    Good Luck, wish her the best.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:47 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Be honest with her, tell her you are shocked an hurt for the hardship that it may cause but are there for her no mattter what, and then let her talk to you like she would a friend, about how she feels, about the father etc, she needs to let it all out the good the bad and the ugly so that she can make clearer decisions. In this case you are less her mother and more a friend and collegue in some strange way.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 12:55 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • tell her that you love her and support her no matter what she decides to do. Katrina had a good perspective, and the anon had some good questions to ask her. Good luck!

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:11 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • i was 19 and in college when i had to tell my parents i was pregnant. just assure her you will support any decision she will make. on the bright side, having child will qualify her as an independ student for financial aid. trust me you can do college and have kids. i am still in college and getting ready to have my third. it's hard but do-able as long as you have people to support you. when i got my associates i graduated magna cum laude but it wouldn't have been possible without the love and support of my family

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • how did it go OP Mom??

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:14 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

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