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3year old trouble!!

Ok i know alot has to do with my daughters age she is almost 4....we tell her to go pick her toys up or tell her no and she throws a huge tantrum....i take something she really enjoys away when she dont want to be good and it dont seem to make her understand and we were telling her if she picked her toys up she could have some money for her piggy bank and that worked for a few days and just cant get her to listen to us...i just want some ideas on how to get her to stop throwin a fit and crying when we tell her no or to pick her toys up.....about 5 months ago she was staying with this lady who filed for gurdian ship of her(long story i never gave up my rights...long story) and they gave her whatever and let her do whatever...not sure if it has lots to do with i just had my 2nd child a month ago but she is realy not as jelaous as she was she is always playing with him so dont think thats it...please help!!! Thanks

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Asked by jess_angelica at 7:36 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • When you tell her to pick up toys. Tell her first want to pick up. To a child telling them to pick up there whole room is overwhelming. So if you chose a toy or two. Then when she gets that done. Tell her what to pick up next. It make take some time but it will not be as overwhelmingfor her. Do a sticker chart with her. After so may stickers she will get a treat. (like an ice cream cone at McDonalds(or where you like), a tattoo for kids, do a fun game with only Mom or someone really special to her. Things like that) Good luck.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • We also did the whole sticker thing and it only worked for a short period of time as well...and i usually say [pick up your legos....then after she finallly does that i tell her to pick up her dishes and food....then so on....but it dont click in her something wrong with her

    Answer by jess_angelica at 10:24 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • i wouldn't say anything is wrong with her. sounds like the age. my almost 4 yr old is the same way! it's very frustrating and i wish i had something to offer. but, i clicked on this hoping it'd have more answers and some advice i could try to use! =) all i have to offer is my sympathy. i'm right there w/you. and, his 2 yr old brother is watching and learning from his example. my, you should see when i tell the 2 of them to pick up! they'll BOTH yell and scream and throw things. *sigh* this too shall pass.... good luck! =)

    Answer by pugmama at 11:05 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Is she just being defiant and refusing to do it? I have held my childrens hands (more than once, for sure) and MADE them pick up a toy. We hold it together, they are screaming the whole time, and we walk together over to the toy box and put it in. I tell them they can scream if they want, but they are still going to help pick up. I "help" them until they decide to do it on their own!
    Never leave a toddler in a room to clean up by themsleves, its just too overwhelming and they get really distracted. If they arent being naughty, but kinda standing around looking lost, direct them in what to do. Things like: "go get me all the books" or "Ok, lets do the blocks", doing it with them and teaching them!

    Answer by christyg at 11:42 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Put up the toys out of reach.  Before you get any out, say "when you get done playing with these you will need to pick them up".  Looking her in the eyes.  Telling her in advance will let her know your expectations.   If she doesn't pick them up you will NOT get them down again for her to play with for a while (toys will go in time out).  If she still doesn't take her hand and do together but let her know that next time you will not get down the toys since she doesn't know how to put them away.  Doing this for a while will "train her".  Also talk to her about chores by reading books at her age level to help her understand.  See some under the "Responsibility/Chores" link on this page


    Answer by momjs at 5:07 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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