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How hard do you think it will be for a 22 year old and 26 year old to finish raising a 15 year old, along with their own 3 kids?

Okay, my mom decided she wants to give me and my husband custody of my unruly 15 year old sister. It's either here or a foster home. BUT, I'm only 7 years older than my sister and my husband and I have our own 3 kids who are 6, 5 and 2 to raise as well. So the question of the day is: Do you think it can be done? Also, any tips for raising a teenager?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • I think this is your Mom's responsibility and should not be giving you her problem child, you have your own children to raise..15 is such a difficult age, I foresee nothing but problems..Plus a 15 year old is just coming into her sexuality and she might try to entice your hubby..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • What a HORRIBLE Mom to say you take her or she goes to foster care..If she is that bad of a child then I would not want her around my 3 kids..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I think you have to explain the situation to your sister and let her know that if you do this she needs to become a part of your family. She needs to be on your team, she can't fight your authority at every turn. If can't respect you and your DH's rules then it just won't work. Sit down and talk with her and see if she can understand this. You can't take her in if she going to go out of her way to be a hindrance to your family....and your mom is irresponsible.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Oh, this would be so hard! I cant believe that your mom would really give her over to foster care at 15.... I would look into homes for troubled teens, or something where she can live for awhile that has counselors and others that are equiped to handle her issues.

    I would imagine though, that your mother is probably half (if not more) of her problem! ~ What does hubby think? You would be taking on a really big responsibility, and she will more than likely question your authority a lot too. Are you mature enough to handle it?
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 11:23 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • My husband said fine, but the first time she messes up she's out of here as well. We can't risk our kids because she wants her way all the time. I eel bad because not only my mom said foster care or me, that's what the judge said as well. If she doesn't listen here, she'll have to go into foster care. So I'm going to try to get her straightened out. I not, I guess she's screwed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Not to sound mean, but I would let her go to Foster Care. It may scare her enough to straighten her out. Sounds like she needs tough love.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I couldnt give up on my sister. I would do my best. I would establish clear cut rules for her. Have her sign some sort of contract. Make sure you get very involved in her school and let them know about the situation. I would also see about some counseling. The best you can do is be there for your sister. No matter how much trouble she is, she is still your sister. I have no idea what she has been up to, but I wuold do whatever I could to show her the correct path....or at least that she has to behave until she is 18 and once she is 18 she can deal with the judge and courts as her consequences. I know that scare tactics may be needed, but its hard to say since I don't know what she has been doing. Either way, I know this is a lot on you. It would be very hard, but I could never give up on my sister.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:39 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • OMG...this poor, poor girl!

    Her mother wants to GIVE HER AWAY like she's a freakin garbage can and you wonder why she has "issues????"

    She needs to feel loved, wanted and discipline.

    If this was my sister I wouldn't think twice no matter how hard it might be. If she goes to foster care she'll never get adopted, she'll grow up with a horrible view on life, and she will just repeat the cycle.

    Wow. Poor child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • well I found myself raising my drug addicted 17 yo nephew cause mom couldn't deal with him. Wasn't hard at all. But than again I also have a teenager. LOL. I only took him in cause I didn't want to see him spiral down any more than he was. Got him off drugs, a job and into school. Than mommy dearest deceided she wanted her baby back. Its true what they say blood is thicker than water and someone in the family needs to be there for the girl. I say take her in, let he know the rules you expect her to follow and she'll come around. your awesome for just entertaining the idea. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I would be very careful about doing this. Whatever your younger children see her get away with, they will do worse. On the other hand, if you can handle this well, your children will be encouraged by the boundaries you have set for your sister, and that's a very good thing. It might be to your advantage to start out with temporary custody and to have it understood that you are doing this on a trial basis. Then I would write down a list of the house rules and have her sign an agreement to keep them. That way, you will have some bit of leverage to enforce the rules. I admire you for wanting to do this, and I'm sure you know it won't be easy. So just try to think and plan ahead and give yourself every chance to be successful. If you start out strict, you can always relax a little the rules, but if you start out lax, it will be impossible to rein her in. So I say start strict and tell her trust has to be earned.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:01 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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