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2 year old constantly acting out! HELP!

My son is turning two in a coupke of weeks and has been displaying clear signs of the terrible two's" as they say. When I say "no" or he doesn't get what he wants, he is screaming at the top of his lungs. Not only is this happening at home, but in stores and other people's houses. I have tried everything I can think of, including, ignoring it, time-outs and sturn talks, but nothing seems to work! I am expecting our second in June, so I really feel this needs to be taken care of before the new baby comes into our home. Any tips?

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Asked by DAjZeZnLE at 10:31 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Your not alone , my DD is doing all of these same things . She will be 2 on the 26th of Feb. I wish I knew what to tell you . I am at wits end too .

    Answer by sarbreen28 at 10:38 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • DD did this a few months ago and it pops up depending on the day. She's 27 mos and the only thing we've found is ignoring her everytime she does it, threatening (she's not much of a tester when it comes to punishment) to put her in her room, or leave right away, and if it's still going on we give her a harder tap on her butt. Sometimes she does it out of just being tired so I try to make it more calming for her or take away whatever caused the reaction in the first place! When you say no, put it up and walk away!!! They'll scream but I always say "I'm not listening until you use your words!" and will ignore her until she does this half laugh cry thing. She still has outbursts but these help!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 10:59 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Trying everything is not gonna work.....You need to pick one and stay consistent so he knows that you mean it and he knows what the consequences will be. I have a very low tollerance for screaming, and I immediately plop their little butts into a time out, each and every time. No talking, no debate, nothing! Ignore him until he stops scremaing, and keep picking him up and putting him back on the chair if he gets down.......EVERY time.
    When you are out of the house, it is a lot harder. I have left full grocery carts in the middle of a store to take my kids out (they usually calm down and we can go back in). If you are really consistent at home, it will only take a few times while you are out for him to get it. You might want to even make a few "practice" trips to the store once you feel like he is doing well at home =)

    Answer by christyg at 11:01 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Ooooooh it's so hard! I feel for you! As good mommies, we want everything to be perfect, and that 'terrible two' attitude just messes up the whole pretty picture.
    Be firm, be loving, keep him entertained, and above all- be consistent. It's a phase and it SUCKS. Never forget that you are a good mama. And MANY mothers, myself included, are going through the same thing as you, or something similar.
    One more thought- The new baby might help. It did here. Make your child the 'big helper'. His whole attitude might change!

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 11:02 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Time to start spanking. He is exerting his own little self and his determination to rule his world, and that includes you. If you spank him in the privacy of home, teaching him that when you say no, you expect him to respect your no and to obey your authority, you will be able to take him anywhere with the promise that he will answer to you at your earliest convenience. It is not a good idea any longer to spank in public because it is considered by so many to be child abuse. Not to spank is to allow yourself to be abused and to teach your child that it is okay for him to be the abuser. You need only spank him hard enough that he feels the sting. Bare skin is best, usually the upper thigh. I prefer to use a small flyswatter rather than my hand. Always tell him that you love him too much to allow such behavior. Never warn but once, then follow through. If he is very strong-willed, expect it to take a bit longer.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:10 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Skip the spanking. It won't help and will teach him it's ok to hit when he's mad. That will give you a whole new problem. I agree that you should pick a method and stick with it long enough to see if it works (you don't mention how long you've tried each approach). here's what I found worked for us. First, I avoided starting all sentences with No (when possible) and paired then with a redirection. So, if he wanted a cookie, I might tell him dinner was coming soon and offer another snack or simply suggest a new activity (i.e. let's go play with your cars). I'd then go and do just that. All further screaming/requesting was ignored. Eventually he got bored and/or curious about what I was doing. I try never to tell him no again since I found that just fired up the tantrum all over again. When we're out, I ignore the tantrum and continue conversation as if it weren't happening. (I put him in a cart/stroller typicall.)

    Answer by momofryan07 at 2:42 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • by the way, I also found that lots of physical activity (i.e. playgrouns, going for a walk, etc) helped to avoid the tantrums all together. I think some of the tantrums were simply he was bored and looking for somethign to do..

    Answer by momofryan07 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I spank. Not very hard but a little swat that makes more noise than pain really works. He completely freaks out because the noise scares him. Say the situation is he keeps touching something. 1st-a warning, 2nd-smack on the hand, 3rd-swat on the butt and time out for 2-5 minutes depending on how severe the action wa.

    Answer by proudmama1207 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • My son turned two a few months ago so that switch from angel to terror is still fresh in my mind. When he throws a fit, I tell him I'm not going to talk to him when he's acting like this and then ignore him until he's over it. If he hits me, same thing but I tell him he's being mean. If he screams in stores, we leave and he goes in time out when we get home. Once you get your system set up it's just a matter of holding out longer than him. He still screams and hits sometimes but nothing like that first switch. But I stuck with it so he knows he's not getting anything from Mommy when he acts like that.
    Good luck. If he's like my son, the baby might actually help. We're TTC but I watch my friend's baby sometimes and not once has there been a tantrum when the baby's around. He loves being the big kid so he's on his best behavior so he can 'help' with the baby.

    Answer by flitpixie at 2:48 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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