Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

For mom's with only one child..

Did you only WANT one child? Or do you WANT more? Are you planning on having more? Did you chose to only have one, and if so, why?

I only have one, she is two, and we have talked about having another, but (I know this sounds horrible) I can't help but think if I have another I will never love it the same as my DD. I'm terrified I will get a "bad" kid, or have a boy and not know how to raise him. My DD and I are VERY close (yes, even at 2!) and I'm scared that if I have another that it will just take away from time that I want to spend with her. I came from a large family and growing up I always wanted a huge family, like 5 kids, but now that I have one, IDK I just don't feel like I want more. Anyone else feel this way? Do you think it is "mean" to only have one, your child doesn't have siblings? Sorry I know this is long, I am just confused, DH wants more, IDK what I should do!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • my son is 5 and yes i want to start trying for more soon... i've enjoyed my special time with him but he has become so independent and i am feeling empty. I know he needs me but the only time ive ever felt complete is when he needed me and i just feel like he doesnt NEED me like he did when he was 1 or 2.

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:45 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • my dd turned 7 months today and my bf also wants more kids not right away but in the future and a part of me really wants another boy but i grew up with 3 other siblings and i just think she would be better off as a only child where i can devote all of my love time money etc. into her and no its not rude to only want one child,but you never know 10 yrs from now you could have 2 more kids and not feel anything like you did now about having more children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I have one. She is 19 months old. I do have 2 SKs, but there is a difference. I have always said I wanted at least 2 kids. And this is still the case. I want to have another child within the next year or two. It is possible that I will want another after that. I dont know. I have never felt more myself than I have being a mother. I love it. I love my children! I think because I had 2 Sks first, I never had that just me and her thing.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:51 AM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • ive heard that people think you will never love your second child as much as your first, but that its not really true, especially once you see them & grow your bond with them. i have one son, and i definatly want more. i dont want 5. but i at least want one more, maybe even more then that. i want a son & a daughter at least and i do think its better for children to grow up with siblings. i was an only child until i was 11 and it got pretty lonley, especially since my parents were divorced. when i was 11 my dad had my half sister with my stepmom, and when i was 12 my mom got with my stepfather who already had his son, my stepbrother. i love them so much and think of them as my bro & sis, but i cant help but always think ill never know what it feels like to have a full blooded sister or brother.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • We have one. She's six months old but we are 80% sure we're not going to have another. I would be fine with having one more, but my husband is pretty set on just one. Since we have a girl, I probably won't campaign as hard for the second as I would if we had a boy the first time around. LOL. I'm okay with just one if that's what it ends up being. I have the Mirena and after the five years, if we still are set on just the one, then my husband will go in for a vasectomy. My husband's big thing is being able to have money to do things and still be able to put our kids through college. Or at least help a lot.

    Answer by Christina807 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I also come from a large family and always thought growing up I would also have lots of kids. As I got older I realized there was more to life than that (especially since we missed out on a lot of things growing up due to financial constrictions). Dh and I have only one (7 years old) and that's by choice. I've heard and read that, "one child fits into your lifestyle, two or more and your lifestyle has to alter to fit the kids." Stopping at one has definitely been the best choice for us and I don't think it's "mean" at all. Our kid is very close to all of the cousins and has tons of friends, and I know from experience that just because you have siblings doesn't necessarily mean you'll be close with them...heck, I'm closer to several of my cousins than I am with one of my brothers!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Well, I have a 2 year old. And she has always been my entire world since the day she was born. We decided to have another when she was 1. And I ended up with a boy. He's great. I had my own fears as well...that I wouldn't be able to love him as much...or that she would hate me for having to spend time with him as well. But made us closer. Because now she does everything to get my attention, and to make me happy. She's a wonderful little girl, and she loves her baby brother. Trust me...boys are easier than girls lol. I've got a 2 year old and a walking 8 month old boy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Im done with one. There are times when i wonder what it would be like to have another but in reality I like spoiling my son (in experiences) we take one international vacation and one in the usa every year and i like that.I never want him to miss out on something because "we jsut cant afford it" i heard that so many times growing up

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I have one and it is not my choice (health issues) and I would dearly have loved to have had at least one more, but since that can't happen, I am content with my one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.