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Begging to think court orderd visitation isnt the way to go....

the father of my son and i seperated in july of last year i took him to court for child support and visitation at first temp visitation was mon,tues,friday form 5pm till 8 pm when his dad got home from work then all day saturdays well our son was acting out due to the new change in his life so when our manditory visitation court date was set his father asked just for every other weeknd no more no less..... its effecting my son tremendiously thats all he asks for thats all he wants is his dad and my heart is broken because i never wanted this for him. How do i ease his pain when he cant see his dad except for every other weekend? his father only sticks to the schedual and doesnt want any more time than he already has im lost in this one....

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brandnew744

Asked by brandnew744 at 11:57 AM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (318 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • The only thing you can do is be there for him. Try to keep him distracted with playdates and such. If his dad only wants to be a part-time dad, and the court is allowing that, then you have to accept it. Your son will adjust. It's going to be hard :( But you'll both get through it.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Just keep telling the child that it's not that dad doesn't want to see him. Kids always think it's something they did. Tell him dad is adjusting to all of this too so the whole family will take time to adjust. It might not help a lot but it's important that your son know dad isn't rejecting him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:06 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • More then likely dad is also having a hard time with this. It could be that once things settle down he asks to see him more often. You don't have to follow court ordered visitation to the letter. If dad comes around and requests to see him during the week then I'd let him. Invite him to his games, parent teacher conferences, etc. You two are the ones seperated but need to work on things for his sake. You might also let his dad know that he's having a hard time with things and see if he'll work with you.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:10 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • thats the thing he knows he is having a hard time but doesnt care and our son is only 2
    brandnew744

    Answer by brandnew744 at 12:14 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • He may be having it hard too. Maybe he can only handle handing his kid back and leaving once in a while. Not that it is a good reason, but he may be tearing his heart out evertime he gives the kid back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • My ex and I split up when my son was three. He had liberal visitation, three weekends a month. He would sometimes miss visits, stating work. I finally realized the reason he was missing visits was because he didn't really know our son, he didn't know what to do with him. In order to help facilitate a relationship with them I made my ex a list of things our son enjoys. Each week I would search the paper for events that our son would enjoy. I would pack a bag with toys and movies that I knew my son would enjoy. I would let my son call as often as he wanted.
    My ex became more involved with our son and now he is a better father than he ever was when we were together.
    I hope this helps.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Your son is young right now, and your Ex don't know what to do with him by himself, when your son gets older, there will be more that he can do with his son,ballgames, playing outside. when my kids were young, my ex left the raising to me, now their grown, he's in the picture,(took over),when he reaches 7-9,10, your husband will be more in the picture.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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