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Decided to be a SAHM! Help me!

We're due for our first baby March 5th and my husband and I have decided that I would be a SAHM. I really love my job and have worked 5 days a week since the month I turned 16 so I'm nervous about not working. Any helpful hints to get through the day? My best friend is also a SAHM so we plan to get together but besides taking care of the little one, what else can I do to still keep a little bit of myself during the day? I don't want to completely lose myself.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • I would say that you shouldn't jump right into being a full stay at home mom if you're a little scared. I'd say maybe just work part time, a couple hours a week, so you still have something to escape to, and can still hold on to yourself. I'm a stay at home mom, but i only had two jobs before my first child, and they only lasted a few months (i was 16 & 17 when working, got pregnant at 17) Now, I'm a stay at home mom, and I love it. I love how I don't have to miss all my kids' firsts and stuff like that...BUT...I would also KILL to have some time to myself sometimes. I would LOVE to have a job even just a couple hours a week just to get away and have some interaction with people over the age of 2 lol. Good luck. You'll figure things out, and you'll do fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • umm keep a partime job. i been sahm for 3 yrs an di ahted it i lost myslef a while back

    Answer by piwife at 1:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • The honest truth is for the first 6 months you're going to feel ancy and a bit out of sorts...stick with it, you will adjust. After you make it through the adjustment period you won't ever want to work again. I stay at home with a 3 year old, 22 month old, and a 2 month old. I hope I never have to go back to work while any of them are still living at home. I don't want to miss a minute of their lives.

    The best advice I have is live in the present. I noticed at first that I was taking care of my baby's needs, but was spending my time thinking about the housework I was going to do that day or how naptime was going to go or what PJ's I'd put her in after her bath, etc. In other words, my thoughts were focused on what's next instead of really living in the moment and enjoy each of her smiles, coos, and milestones.

    Learn to live in the moment and savor each minute and not worry about what's next.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Try a daycare for a few hours a week. Meet friends for lunch and wear something besides sweatpants and t shirts. get out of the house as much as you can

    Answer by Christina2135 at 1:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Moms that don't enjoy staying at home and can't wait to get back to work haven't learned to live in the present. They never get past that ancy feeling and needing to plan everything.

    I also would advise going ahead and quitting work now. Don't wait until the baby arrives. Then you will be adjusting to staying home and being a new mother all at once. I began staying at home shortly before becoming pregnant. Spending time alone at homebefore the baby arrived helped me adjust to being a SAHM.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I hated it. I don't advise it. Some women love it! don't get me wrong! I'm not one of them though. I admire their strength and patients! =)

    I was bored and frustrated and stressed out. I didn't feel like I was contributing to society or our finances. I lost myself... My whole life was my kids. Now I work 32 hours a week from 3PM to midnight. It's perfect. I'm with my kids during the day so they aren't in daycare but I still get to get away and be a person with a job and adult conversation and I feel like I found 'ME' again. =) And I still get to be a mom and be with my kids a lot.

    Staying at home isn't for everyone. It does NOT make you a bad mom. I wouldn't jump into head first though. I'd ween into it and see how you feel! =)

    Good luck!!!

    Answer by Malibustacy at 1:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I think that you will figure it out. If you can afford it, I dont see the reason in keeping a part time job. I would just get things in the house the way you want them to be. I would plan some hobbies. Are there things that you have wanted to do? You could paint, write, draw, scrapbook, etc. They may even have programs at the library. Also, I always did my grocery shopping and all that stuff during the day. That way, my evenings were free. It sounds good that you will be getting together with your friend. As your child gets older you will find that your time will be pretty well taken up. Oh, you could also pay bills during the day too. That way your evenings can be more dedicated to your hubby or other family things.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Thrivingmom has a great point. It would be better to get used to being home BEFORE having the baby. I was a housewife for awhile before we had our kids. If you don't want to lose yourself then don't. What makes you "YOU" is not your job. It's a compilation of a lot of little things. Don't get me wrong, you will evolve into something different once your little one is born but I think that happens to everybody when a new baby is in the picture. You can't possibly always be the exact same person since your role in the world changes when becoming a mom. Just be sure to make time for yourself. Do at least one thing a week purely for the fact that it makes you feel good/happy/relaxed and remind yourself daily why you want to be a SAHM. You'll do fine if you remember those things. Good Luck to you.

    Answer by Krysden at 1:31 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • With a newborn, you will not have time or the energy to be bored.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 1:35 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • i really loved it when my first son was born. i held him all the time, we napped together, we went on walks together.
    i understand wanting to keep a piece of you alive!!
    you have a lot of adjusting ahead of you with your first lo about to arrive...i say, if you can, try to take things one day at a time.
    you may surprise yourself in what you enjoy!
    congrats on your baby!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 5:57 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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