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how do i get my DH to understand he is being a little too...well blunt?

we been wanting to try the 3 way with another woman for several years now but couldnt find one we both trusted or could agree on until recently..one of our friends that we known for nearly 10 years has been hittin on me and hinting around that she wanted to a 3 way...so my dh and i decided that she would be the one...i wanted to just have her hang out in the evenings and whatever happens happens..he sent her a rather dirty email...that im my opinion was way out of line....he did apologize..but he doesnt see that he said was wrong....how do i get him to understand that not all women want to be spoken to that way?
by the way i was the only one he was with...so he isnt that good with picking up women...i chased after him and please no bashing...if this kinda thing isnt right for you then fine...i just need advice

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • You can tell him that sudden, unsolicited explicitness might scare some women off. Better to ease into that sort of thing, in my opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • are you not afraid that your friend would try to take your man? I'm not into 3ways but if i were to do it then i would just go out and pick up a stranger
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I kinda understand where you're coming from, because me and my SO have been thinking about that as well, but we have completely different taste in women. lol, and I don't want her to be too pretty, or older than me...and blah blah blah, I have too many like standards or whatever. But my SO will talk to me about women like that, and it kinda hurts my feelings, so I think I understand where you're coming from. Just tell him to make sure he doesn't forget about YOU...that this is for the both of you and not just him. Don't let him get too excited, and too wrapped up in being able to be with another woman. Just be careful because no matter how much you feel you're okay with this whole idea...you may not feel that way after you see his hands on her, and how into it he will be. It will make you feel like he is more excited about her than you. Not trying to talk you out of it, just be careful. And good luck hope it all works out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Personally, I wouldn't do it with a friend because if you do decide that you don't like it or are uncomfortable with it, then everytime that friend comes around it will be weird. Now, I would go with someone that neither of us knows all that well. Did the other girl write back to the email?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • they do have swingers clubs and bars...some of them you even have to be checked for std's before becoming a member.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Let me get this straight... You have both been wanting to do a three way for several years and now when your dh jumps at the chance, you get angry at him for going for it? Somehow that doesn't make sense. I am all for living your life they way you want to, but be aware of the implications and changes your relationship will go through when you make the choice to bring in another partner. Someone usually gets hurt in these arrangements. As you have already demonstrated by this message is it will likely be you. D:
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I say go to a bar or club get smashed pick up some random chick and get it on. Cuz if I saw my best friend doing ANYTHING with my husband I would claw her eyes out. Especially after he took it upon himself to send her provocative emails.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • op here

    im goin with the friend cause i know where she has been and i trust her...and really she is more into me than my DH...i just need to get my hubby to understand that he cant always be so forward about this...at least not until after it happens and we all are ok with it. we did a 3 with another guy a year ago..he was a mutual friend and it didnt change anything...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • If you start this type of thing. Swinging, 3 some type stuff. I predict you will not be together for very long. I hope you have made up some rules to abide by when doing this.  JMO

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • So you both are Bi-sexual?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:14 PM on Feb. 18, 2010