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Talking to my husband about Baby #2

I really want to try for another baby. Soon. My daughter will be two in June, and I'd like to be pregnant before or shortly after her birthday. My husband and I are going on vacation in May [DD is staying with her grands for a couple of weeks]. I think this would be the perfect time to start trying, since it will be a few months after getting my IUD out.
[I'm having it taken out due to some irritation in the lining of my uterus. Other birth control is in the works.]
Anyway, the thing is, he "can't figure out why he feels like he doesn't want anymore children." He says he's the only guy he knows that doesn't want kids/more kids.
At this point, I don't want to be left waiting for the next 2-3 [or however many] years. If DD gets much older, there's NO WAY I'm going back to having an infant.
So... what do I do? Wait it out, in hopes that he will come around? Or save myself the frustration and hope and have a ligation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (6)
  • OP here,
    I also want to add that I can't be on hormonal birth control for long periods of time. It messes me up really bad hormonally and I balloon out like a hippopotamus.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • You have all the control in this situation. That's all I'm going to say

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • While you do have control in this situation I don't think you should make it without him agreeing with you. As much as I know you want to start trying now I would just keep working on him. I definetely (sp) don't think you should get a tubal with you still wanting more children. Good Luck!

    Answer by vowens82 at 6:16 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Unless you're in your mid to late thirties or forties there's really not a medical need to have a baby now is there? Just that you just want one now? If you're a lucky woman, I'm not sigh, and your husband really partners with you and helps a lot with dd and around the house often then doing that could just make him realize that kids are a huge responsibility, and he's just not ready to say he wants one now right now like just about you are.

    Once you're on vacation and relaxed he might feel differently.

    Also, how's his job, yours too if you work also outside your home? Mabe there are layoffs his company or bills extra concerned about. Do you need a new car, just buy a new car? Do you have money in savings or more living off of credit cards for emergencies?

    I'm not putting down any of that just offering up what could be on hubby's mind.

    My oldest was 3 1/2 when 2nd baby born, it was great w/o 2 in diapers at once.

    Answer by lfl at 6:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I agree with anon, you really do have all the control here. I wouldn't feel right tricking my hubby though, I'd just make sure he knew how important it was to me. That's what I did so we could start trying for baby #2. One day he was watching our son just giggle & giggle & he looked at me & said, "Ok, lets have another one!"

    Answer by ours at 6:42 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • OP here,
    first, ANON #1 -- I totally laughed at that. Not in a bad way. Believe me, I've thought of that. But when I get pregnant again [if there is one] I want him to be HAPPY about it. Not like last time.

    LFL - his job is fine.. he CAN'T get fired. i don't work. we're doing well with saving $$ and have nearly paid off all of our debts. thank you for that aspect of things. i hadn't considered that.

    ours - i WISH my husband would do that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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