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should I apologize?

sorry, this is gonna come out very sarcastic. I mean, I am a sm. My sd comes over our house claiming abuse at home with bm. I mean there are stories every weekend she comes. Now bm is trying to say I make her say these things. that her child is emotionally damaged because of me. I am sorry her daughter comes and tells us this stuff. Really?! I mean should I not say something when the kids hand is cut open and she says her bm sliced her with broken glass cause she was bad. I mean really who wouldnt try to help. She wants to blame me for what she does to her child. Who does that? And what does she want an apology from me and dh because sd tells us these things and we act on it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • its possible that the daughter is looking for attention and wanting you to act on it. You should work harder on getting along with the mother and agreeing with her on things
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:42 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • sorry to seem to be against you, I'm not just a comment - sometimes people do hurt themselves to get attention from specific others. If sd were doing this at bm house then most bm would comment to sm, wouldn't they or not, that child hurt herself please take care with it.

    How old is sd? Any other kids in house, can husband or another relative of theirs be spoken to for more facts? Maybe you, hubby, bm at first w/o daughter in question can get counseling to help each other?

    I know different counselors cost different amounts, some in family service organizations do sliding scale on income.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 6:44 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • No the child is not looking for attention. She has been saying this stuff for years. Not just to me but dh as well. We are fighting for her bu it does seem to be a lsoing battle. Just so everyone knows my sds therapist agrees that things are not right at home with bm but legally cant take sides.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • All I can say is, I will pray for you and your SD and husband. Be strong, mama. Do what you think is right, and try to keep a clear mind. Right or wrong, you are a good person for caring. My heart goes out to you.
    mama_moonsong

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 7:49 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • In response to the previous comment, YES it's the law, but sometimes therapists are chicken because it can get them in a lot of trouble. I knew a woman who's little girl was being molested by her dad. The woman went to several therapists to get help, but even though they agreed it was happening, they wouldn't do anything. If I were you, I would start keeping a very careful journal about everything that is going on. Then go therapist shopping until you find one who is willing to put their neck on the line for your SD. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 7:53 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • For the poster who thought the BM should say something about the injury to the child's father and SM since it happened at her house.....this rarely happens from my experience as SM. BM hardly tells us anything unless we ask or the kids tell us first. The only reason BM tells us anything is if it somehow benefits her.

    I definately wouldnt be apologizing. I can't believe that nothing is being done about this if it has been going on for so long and she is seeing a therapist. I wish you the best. The situation sounds horrible.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:11 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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