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I cant stand it...

My mother walks around like the world owes her something...and I cant fucking handle it anymore. I hate talking to her...I hate bring my kid over to her house...she is always negative about everything I do...for example...I had a job interview this week and she told me I wasnt going to get to the job cause of my daughter. And totally brought me down about it. What should I do?? I cant say hey you need to adjust the way you look at things. Hell I cant say anything to her cause she thinks its a freaking attack against her. IDK what to do. I feel bad for my daughter cause she is never around her...but I cant stand her. Plus she tells me I do everything with my daughter wrong. And that im a bad mom everyday. Help.

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Amanduh87

Asked by Amanduh87 at 8:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Screw feeling bad about her thinking it's a personal attack against her. I'd say, "Yeah, it's an attack against you. You're a negative influence and you're doing nothing but making me depressed. I won't allow myself or my daughter to be around such negativity, so get on some damn Prozac and we'll talk."
    kittyhasclaws

    Answer by kittyhasclaws at 8:07 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • this is hard for me, becasue my mom was my best friend. my advice would be to sit down , just she and you, no kids around. then KINDLY and GENTLY tell her you love her b ut you think her negativity is hurtful. you said she takes everything as an attack, and she might this time too, but thru the ranting she does say calmly"mom this isnt an attacck this is me trying to make t hings better". if she wont calm down, calmly get up and leave. and then you have a choice, do you put up with her to have your mom in your life, or do you let it go and talk to her occassionally on the phone. keep her at arms length and if she gets nasty, say again calmly,"hey mom the baby needs me gotta go, love you' and say good bye. she can only drive you crazy if you let her. good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Haha. OMG thats exactly what I wanna say to her!!
    Amanduh87

    Answer by Amanduh87 at 8:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • How frustrating!! My MIL is like that. I don't know if this is the right course of action to take... but I avoid her. We do family functions, and I take the occasional call from her, but other than that- we don't communicate. My DH and I have explained to her that her negativity and insulting behavior offend us, and we'd be happy to spend more time with her if she's going to be pleasant. Sometimes it works- usually not. Life is easier when we have her in small doses, few and far between.
    If your mom loves and respects you- she'll come around. If not, just distance yourself.
    mama_moonsong

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 8:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • My mom was very negative. Every time she said "oh you can't do that" I set out to prove her wrong. It made me strong so it doesn't always have to turn out badly. Sometimes they don't realize they sound so negative. It's possible she's even jealous of you knowing you might make it further in life than she could. Who knows? You want to get her attention? Every time she says something negative tell her you love her. That protects your karma and confuses her. lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Does she feel bad when she hurts your feelings? let me answer that for you most likely not so why feel bad for calling her on her shit. I would cut all ties with her and if she calls and ask why she hasn't seen you then lay it all on the line. You need an adopt a mom :~)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • AFTER, MUCH REA-SEARCH.........
    I have discovered there ,

    IS SO MUCH TO ABUSE...

    Emotion. Verbal, and Psyical......never-mind, being bullied in school
    and HOW ALL THIS AFFECTS SOMEONES LIFE ....


    ALOT, of ABUSE, REALLY , depends on THEM and YOUR PERSONALITY ........

    ARE YOU SERIOUS ? and TAKE EVERYTHING TO HEART ?

    OR
    CAN YOU JUST SAY "what-ever-and go on" ?

    Some of it ....IS YOU & THEM, or maybe THEM ?

    Feel free to look at my profile.....
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I would say to her that she is entitled to her oppinion, but if she doesn't have something constructive or ever polite to say, maybe she could practice folding her sharp tongue back behind her teeth for a while. What ever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"
    etsmom

    Answer by etsmom at 12:12 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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