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Talking to my husband about Baby #2

I really want to try for another baby. Soon. My daughter will be two in June, and I'd like to be pregnant before or shortly after her birthday. My husband and I are going on vacation in May [DD is staying with her grands for a couple of weeks]. I think this would be the perfect time to start trying, since it will be a few months after getting my IUD out.
[I'm having it taken out due to some irritation in the lining of my uterus. Other birth control is in the works.]
Anyway, the thing is, he "can't figure out why he feels like he doesn't want anymore children." He says he's the only guy he knows that doesn't want kids/more kids.
At this point, I don't want to be left waiting for the next 2-3 [or however many] years. If DD gets much older, there's NO WAY I'm going back to having an infant.
So... what do I do? Wait it out, in hopes that he will come around? Or save myself the frustration and h

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • OP here,
    I would also like to add that I can't take hormonal birth control for long periods of time. It really messes me up hormonally and I balloon out like a hippopotamus.

    Also, I did post this once before in the TTC section but I was hoping for some more advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Number of children is one of those pre-marriage conversations. What did the two of you talk about then? What's changed since then?

    You need to keep talking about it. Make a list. Guys like lists. Pros of having another baby. Cons of having another baby.

    KEEP talking about it. At some point, his reasoning will come forth.

    I saw your other thread, and I disagree with the "you're in control of this" line of thinking...getting pregnant when your partner doesn't want another child is a fast track to divorce. You need to be on the same page with him.


    Answer by gdiamante at 8:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • i wouldn't do anything unless your husband thinks it's the right thing to do too. if you throw something like that at him by "accident" he'll never let you live it down and could cause more trouble than just an infant. if he seriously doesn't want another one then you both have to really talk and see who is willing to give in. something has to happen to make you both happy.

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • He knew I wanted lots of kids. He didn't really have an opinion.
    I agree with everything you said.
    I'm off to make my list!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I would be get to talking to your hubby know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • The last line is supposed to read

    'frustration and false hope'.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I think that it would be a good idea to talk to him honestly about your feelings. It isn't that unusual for a man to not know if he would like more kids. My husband was the same way. I wanted more, and he wasn't sure. We did end up having another, by accident (a real accident, not just an oops).You both should be sure about having another before going in that direction.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • If he doesn't want another baby then he doesn't want another baby. Your probably not going to be able to change his mind. Why try and force a child that he doesn't want?

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:36 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I cant believe there was no solid plan before you got married. I mean my husband and I discussed 2 children(our limit) before we got married. We also said we would re-evaluate after 1. We have one and are done. We both felt like our family was complete. Anyways, you should talk to him and get something solid down on paper. Good Luck!

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 9:56 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Ladies, it's not that I want to force him into anything. No, we didn't have a ROCK SOLID plan before we got married. We are aware that plans are just that. Plans. Things don't always turn out the way we think they will/should. I mean no disrespect here, Mom2Just1...but just because you had a solid plan in mind before you got married, doesn't mean that all people do. Things change. People change. When we first got engaged and people asked us how many kids we wanted, I said 'More than one, less than ten.'

    Now, I don't want any more than three... and that's stretching it. Two would be ideal. I would like for my daughter to have at least one sibling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

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