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Do you make your DH or SO "earn" sex? Do you think these kind of attitudes contribute to divorce rates?

I saw a post last night where a woman said she made her husband her DH earn sex and only gave it to him every 6-8 weeks.

I'm sorry but I find this incredibly sad. Sex isn't just for men and sex is important to a relationship.

Why do women do this? Why would some make their SO work for sex like it's a dang pay check? Isn't sex a priveledge of marriage? Do you think these kind of attitudes contribute the divorce rate?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Feb. 18, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (29)
  • earning = childish behavior.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I don't make him "earn" it really, but it sure as heck isn't my "duty" either. He gets it when I'm in the mood. Sometimes I do give it to him even if I don't want it.

    "Isn't sex a priveledge of marriage?" Well, don't kids have to "earn" privileges and don't they also get them taken away for being bad? so you are contradicting yourself.

    and the quality of the sex if I were to just lay there and let him do his thing every time he wants it IS NOT my idea of "good for a relationship" If a woman does not want sex and says no, it means no. doesn't matter if you are married. And any man that would still have sex with that woman after she "gave in" but really didn't want it isn't in it for relationship purposes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • I did it with my first husband and lets say we are divorced

    Answer by shannon512 at 11:47 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Why would I punish myself??? No way! I enjoy sex way too much to something stupid like that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • do

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • My husband is well behaved and helpful around the house when he is well cared for in the sex department. I don't make him "earn" it. But I will do something extra nice for him if he's done something extra good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • No it shouldn't be earned. I guess some people see sex as a bothersome side effect to marriage. Personally I have never felt that way, I love my husband and love sex with him. I cant imagine what it would be like to not want to have sex with him. Going 6 weeks after the kids were born was VERY hard but we made it lol of course we found other ways. I cant imagine voluntarily going 6-8 weeks without!

    I saw the same post you did and couldn't believe that she was calling BS on those of us who have marriages with good sex lives. My Dh and I have been a couple for 15 years and sex with him has never gotten old, tiresome, boring, and i have never been not interested. My great grandparents were having sex up until my great grandfather died he was in his 80's! I can still remember thinking I want that kind of marriage where we still want each other in that way after so many years. I am lucky I do have that type of marriage :)

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2010

  • Well I would bet that the women who posted that last night probably has a husband that cheats on her. No man married man is going to go 6-8 weeks without sex because he hasnt earned it. How stupid and immature of her totally wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • no def not "earn" sex.....but his actions depend on whether or not I feel like it....if that makes any sense......If we're in bad moods then its obvious we're not going to......I don't like being a robot about it either and if I'm not feelin like it I don't like to be pressed, or have some kinda schedule either.....I like it to just be natural, spontaneous...just to be loving and fun.

    Answer by LynnB1 at 12:02 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Oh to answer you divorce question.....well if I were a man married to a woman who used sex as a tool to get things she wanted yup id divorce her! I am sorry but when you withhold things like that to gain something you want that isn't love that's extortion.

    I would think a lack of physical chemistry would put some amount of stress on a marriage and could lead to divorce. Not to mention that its just plain rude to try and wield that sort of power over someone be it man or woman.


    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:07 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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