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do you Or would you spend time with your ex for the kids sake?

my ex husband & I have two kids 7, & 3. I pick up ( he is legally blind) so he can attend his daughters swim lessons.. its a little weird his girl friend ( also legally blind) come to.. even though he was out of their life for 7 months I allow him to see them whenever he wants because thats what my daughter wants.. She is not comfortable calling him dad, but he insists.. she is hurt because he stood by & watched her cry when he told her he couldn't be in her life. she thought she made him mad & he wasn't coming back, but now she is happy he is around.. so would you spend time with your ex for his & your kid(s)

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maiahlynn

Asked by maiahlynn at 12:44 AM on Feb. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • if it was to just collect them and take them to the lesson and home yes. You don't have to sit with them at the pool, I watch my kids at their lessons and I have my earphones in with my Ipod. I can still see and encourage, but not talk to the people around me. If it is important for your daughter that they be there then I would continue until the transportation itself becomes an issue. You have a unique circumstance with the blindness that needs extra tolerance, like providing some transport. I admire your willingness to support your daughters relationship with her Dad. Well done
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:49 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • My husband and I will never be ex's... but yes i would.. i grew up with divorced parents.. my dad was out of the picture when i was 4 and i didn't see him again till 16.. my mother said horrible things about him when i was growing up and she's still not over it.. i wouldn't show my kids that type of negative relationship
    Jan0609momma

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 12:50 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I cannot count how many times my husband and I have spent time with the ex's for our children. Just recently my oldest and I went on a trip and I asked my ex if he wanted to meet us there. I went out to eat and spent quite a bit of time with my ex husband, our boys and his girlfriend. We even went to DC all together for the day. It works out great for the kids. My husband's ex wife has stayed at our home with her daughter included when she flew my stepson here to live with us permanently. We have attended parent teacher conferences, visits to Santa and birthday parties all together because our children deserve to share those special moments with everyone that they love.

    FL2AK

    Answer by FL2AK at 1:06 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • i do occasionally but not often......i do so for the boys....we get along so that helps
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:16 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • FLA2K that's wonderful and amazing, well done
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:16 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • haha FL2ak ?? I can't spell or type correctly !
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:17 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I would and do. It is really good for the kids to try to get along. I have been divorced from my first for 14 years. We haven't always agreed on things but when it came to our boys he is their dad first and foremost! We attended dinner together when our son graduated last year. My husband was there. We took a picture of all of us with the new graduate and later when I looked at the picture I saw that my boys looked so content and happy. To me that was so rewarding and made me see that all the times I had to bite my tongue and change my negative attitude to a positive one was so very worth it! Also through the years we have built a great repore and now he is a good friend to me.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:49 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I do with my ex but he doesnt come around much. When he does we all act like adults, I've even let him come to our home for dinner. It is weird but it is what was best for our dd at the time. Over the years we have all gone to the zoo and 6 flags together because it makes my dd more comfortable.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:43 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I certainly do and very often. My husband and I are good friends with my ex-husband and his fiance. They even attended our wedding. We frequently get together for outings with all 3 kids. We never fight over custody days and often trade with each other so the kids can be part of special events. I wouldn't change our situation for anything. So, yeah, if spending time with your ex is possible then do it for your kids.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:09 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Nope - my ex and I don't even speak when we are at the same events for the kids. I hate that's the way it is, but after him calling CPS on me twice (both times unfounded, of course) and not paying child support for over 2 years it's hard to be cordial so we just avoid.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:48 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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