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how would you react?

I told my friend that her kids need her!
She has been posting on her facebook everynight, going out for drinks with my girls this has been going on for over a month now. So I said something to her in chat (private) "I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but don't you think your kids need you". she wrote back "...shut your fu*king mouth.. I do plenty with my kids.." do you think I was out of line? read whole question first please.
I have known this girl 15 yrs, she has a 9 yr old who her mother has been raising (but lives with my friend), and she even lost custody to the father for over a year. Then she got prego again (differnet man) and had another child who will be 2 soon. she works 8-6 (not complaining about her work). but before work her kids go to the grams while she goes to the gym at 6am! then after work, she goes out with her girls. She doesn't pick her kids up until 10 pm or later at her moms. Therefore her mother ....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on Feb. 19, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think in the best interest of the kids you have a right to say something. Whether anything changes is only up to her, and from the sound of it, it's not going to. Her parents are enabling her so until they stop, nothing will change. Thankfully she's not leaving them with strangers. It will catch up with her, you will just have to sit back and watch. If she comes to you for help when the floor falls out from under her, then you can tell her, sorry I tried and you didn't listen, so suffer the consequences. You sound like a good friend to have, I have been in your place and I lost a friend over it, but in the end I finally realized I couldn't save her child, and neither can you... Sorry.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:45 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • (OP))) raising them. On weekends she leaves them with her mom to go out and the gym. She has only been to 2 of the 10 basketball games that her son played in. She just makes plans and drops the kids off at her parents house, she even told me her parents would watch my kids..(umm..no thanks, you use them enough!). Anyways her life is her life and only about her and her personal trainer boyfriend who looks gay and got a vasectomy!! (he has NO kids). Do you think I was wrong for telling her how I feel or was I out of line?. I deleted her of my facebook cause in my 29 yrs on earth I have never talked to anyone like that "..shut your fucking mouth.." so who is right or should I of just sat back and watched her kids get her again?

    ((oh about the one she lost custody of, she got him back due to the father not having a place to live))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • in all honesty. are you on a crystal pedastal to be judging her? are you so perfect? sounds like you came off as a right judgemental nag rather than a concerned friend to me.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 7:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I think that there's a right time and place to share your concerns with her, but chat's not one of those. I understand your concerns, and it sounds like you have every right to be concerned, but I think it would have been much better to talk with her in person so that she could that you care and you are not just judging her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Save your energy I've seen these type of mothers who only care for themselves & have parents who have allowed this to go on for a life time. Until some one take a stand & tell her no more babysitting & grow up this will continue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Sati769 { Sounds like you maybe just like her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • nice try anon36, if you are a real friend OP then you talk IN PERSON and you dont act like a nice high and mighty superior judging person. you act like you CARE about them even if your main concern are the kids.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:39 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  •  You didn't sound high and mighty at all to me, although it might have been better done face to face your intention was admirable. But don't stop now. Have her over or better yet, go to home and say in person how you feel, that way she can SEE and FEEL your emotions. Good Luck

    jblueeyes228

    Answer by jblueeyes228 at 9:15 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I know you mean well but it sounds like her problem big time if her mom doesn't mind taking care of her kids then that is her fault, but as far as you telling her stuff that is not your place I know you care for her and especially the kids but all you can do for now is pray and be there for the kids if ever they would need you. You are a good friend though and she is too blind to see that she is so wrapped up in her so called single life she doesn't see that. Just take care of yourself if only we had more people like you in this world it would be a happy world :) GL

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I think your heart and intentions are in the right place, but FB chat is not the place to have that sort of conversation.
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 11:18 AM on Feb. 19, 2010

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