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potty training VENT

Why are moms on here, moms in general, so quick to say that a small bump on the potty training road means that the child is "not ready." I'm so sick of hearing that piece of advice dished out to every single mom who, following her child's legitimate cues, has not had a perfect experience since day 1 of potty training! Since when do we not ask children to begin learning to do something before they already know how to do it? Don't we let them start practicing with a spoon before they are capable of doing it without a huge mess? Are we afraid that teaching them the names of some of the letters is going to turn them off reading forever, or make them ashamed of opening a book as adults? I'm not saying moms who choose to wait are lazy, but stop imposing your style on everyone else. Since when are we bad mothers if we start training a day sooner than our four year-old walks up to us and says, "no more diapers, s'il vous plait!"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Feb. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • why are you worried about what other moms think? you know your own child.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:22 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Because when you follow the guidelines suggested, it should only take a day or two to train them. Not everyone says a bump is cause to quit. It is that alot of moms DO starrt WAY before their kids are ready and then come crying to CafeMom because their under 2 y/o won;t do it and cries..etc. We are trying to avoid all that kind of crap.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 1:25 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Because if it has really been a week or more and they are having no luck. They yes the child is mentally not ready. Yes they can keep trying but to say wait a few months sometimes is all that everyone needs. All kids are ready at different times. All we are doing is trying to help them out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I guess I kind of agree with both sides. If you're taking a gradual, child-led approach, it isn't going to work very early for very many kids (there are exceptions, though -- my 17 month old just wanted to do like big sister and she's already waking up dry in the morning and only pooping on the potty). On the other hand, this child-directed approach is not the only way to potty train a child, and has only become the dominant potty training ideology quite recently. There's actually a really interesting article on the subject I came across a couple of weeks ago, if anyone's interested. I suspect no one is -- people have an overwhelming tendency to think what they want to think and only want to hear what they want to hear. But here it is, just in case:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsten-dirksen/who-decides-when-to-potty_b_265227.html
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 1:32 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I kinda wonder the same thing. My parents had all 6 of us (4 boys, 2 girls) trained by 18 months. If you ask her, she says she "didn't do anything special." It's just become this big deal and everyone seems worried about traumatizing their kids or something. But I was on here asking about some pooping problem my 2 year, 3 month old was having a few months back, and almost everyone that responded said that was too early to expect a boy to learn the potty. (He was peeing there consistently an had been for a month). So I just talked to my friends for advice instead =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I'm so tired of the moms that had their children potty train early say "oh well my child was potty trained at a year" Well good for them and you! My DS is almost 3 and we have tried on and for a year, He is simply not ready. I'm not going to push my child to do something he isn't ready to do just so I don't get "the looks" from the mom's who child potty trained early.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I read your article, EmilySusan, and it sure convinced me to put my 11 month old twins in underwear. So she is saying that Pampers made up the whole thing about not forcing kids to train before they're ready? And so all of the pediatricians in this country are just listening to Pampers? Oh the nerve of these businesses! Now I've heard it all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • " It is that alot of moms DO starrt WAY before their kids are ready and then come crying to CafeMom because their under 2 y/o won;t do it and cries..etc. We are trying to avoid all that kind of crap."

    I agree with this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Thanks for reading the article Anon2:24, I really do mean that. You partially got the point... Indeed, who ever heard of a company lobby affecting medical advice?!! I certainly wasn't trying to convince you to potty train your 11 month old children. Just trying to offer a little perspective on these debates...
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:39 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

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