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How do I help a friend who just lost her 4 year old.

My friends son passed away January 29th. They still do not know why, or how. What can I do to help her? Arrangements for burial I already helped her with, all that is done. But how can I continue to help her during this horrible time?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • wow - sorry for your friend

    I think the best thing you can do is be there - and let her know you are there when she needs you and that you will let her be when she needs alone time
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:42 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Just call and check in on her and let her know honestly you don't know HOW to be there for her but that you ARE there for her no matter what.. oh how awful...
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:44 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I'm already doing everything that a friend should do.. like be there for her, calling and checking on her.. stuff like that. But I see how much she is hurting and I want to do more. Keep sending me suggestions please! At least I know I'm on the right track. Thanks mommymeg and maxsmom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • keep her busy. you could invite her to sleep over or ask her if she would like you to stay.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:49 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Wow, that is so awful and sad!! Honestly, there really isn't anything else you can do for your friend. Just let her know you're there for her, offer to help her with meals, errands, housework, anything that she feels like she can't do right now.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 5:50 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Just be there for her. Losing a child is very very tough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • You are doing the most you can. Grieving is different for everyone. Do youi have children around 3-6 yrs old? If so don't be hurt if she begiins to pull away from you. It is pretty common when someone loses a child to avoid being around children that are close to the age of one that is gone. Four years is a lot of memories to sift through. She will need a lot of time.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:14 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • She is going to hurt - no one can take that away - but she is blessed to have a good friend that is there for her.
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:15 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • maybe make her something special. do you have photos of her child? put together a nice album of her child enjoying life.
    tomib

    Answer by tomib at 6:32 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I;m so sorry for your friend, was the child ill? I too have lost a child at almost 7 years old and again 4 years later at 2 day with a surviving twin. Your friend will never ever be the same. this will hurt for a lifetime. the guilt of anything will get her. Are tere other children in the family or was this an only child? Where is Dad?? You can help in the summer when she is lost of what to do. When school starts again in the fall and her child is not going. she will hurt at those times. At Easter when she does not have a basket to make. At christmas when there is no stocking on the mantle to fill. My own personal one is make sure if she goes opnto the addiction wagon that you let her for a minute then reel her back in. I don't only mean drugs/alcohol, it could be food too. Keep being her friend for yeard to come don't drop her when it gets tough because it will!!
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 8:27 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

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