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$$$4500 dollars for an independant adoption???

Only in the great sunny state of California.
I'm applying for a fee reduction but i need some help with wording and such.
they want to know why paying the full fee would cause economic hardship to you and would be a detriment to the child being adopted.

My DH is unable to do the adoption with me due to the fact that he is overseas, but they are looking at his income too because we filed our taxes together. I personally have no income.
Basically if we spend the money on the adoption it will blow our entire savings, which is supposed to be going towards a down payment to purchase our first home. But it would also deplete all of our emergency money as well.
...Wording is everything. can anyone help me?


Asked by outstandingLove at 5:55 PM on Feb. 19, 2010 in Adoption

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • "We wish to adopt ______ because we love him/her very much and feel that we could provide a loving home for him/her. Part of providing that home is our savings, which we plan to use as a down payment on our first home, the home in which _______ would be raised. That savings also includes our emergency funds, money intended to help us continue providing a good home for ______, even if something unforeseeable should happen. If we pay the fee as it stands now, this would deplete all of our savings, and we feel that bringing ______ into our home with no money to cover emergencies would be wrong. We feel that our love for ______ will do great things for him/her, and we want to provide all the love, support, education, and other opportunities we can for him/her. Giving us a fee reduction would allow that." That's just off the top of my head, someone else might be able to touch it up or word it better, add to it, something.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:10 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • i can good with words

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 5:56 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • I thought that what PP wrote was very good. You can maybe tweak it to fit your exact situation, like if you don't know the name of the child yet. Our second adoption was with an office that had a sliding fee, and their lowest tier was $12,000. After looking at our finances (with me being a SAHM and student), they reduced it to $10,000 without being asked. We did have to draw up a detailed budget and a written plan for success.

    I would definitely write something about wanting to have some savings for an emergency. When my husband lost his job and unemployment benefits were denied, we had to draw on what savings we still had from when we were both working (before we had kids). I think that being left with no savings could be considered a hardship, and not in the child's best interest.

    I hope they will reduce the fee for you. GL!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 7:42 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • also, check with your business or company he works with because some help with adoption, the company my husband works for will give up to 3,000 per child to assist in an adoption. Just an idea.

    Answer by FinleyFirst at 8:57 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • my husband works for the Army. they would assist with the adoption if we were doing it through an agency or through fostering. But because it is independent they will not give any assistance. And even if it were different, all of their help is only reimbursement so we'd have to pay for it first anyways.

    Thank you ladies!

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:58 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • $4,500! .....................I paid $45,000.

    Consider yourself extremely lucky that is all you have to pay. You will get it back when you file your taxes anyway.

    If you cant pay $4,500, how much to you really want this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • PP she is adopting her brother. He has lived w/ her since her mother died. Her mother adopted him as a baby. Just because she doesn't want to spend her entire savings to adopt him doesn't mean she doesn't want him. Its not like she is going through an agency, like you most likely did. 45,000 for adoption is insane. I'm not good with words. Good luck.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:36 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • OP - sorry, I forgot that you are adopting your brother. I said in my post "if you don't know the child's name". Duh!! I got you mixed up with someone else. I wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:56 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Thank you mattewscandi.
    anon, I love my brother very much and if we don't get the fee reduction we will pay the full amount because IMO we have no choice. Not adopting him is not a choice.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 3:21 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Who is charging you $4500? Try looking up adoption attorneys in the Academy of Adoption Attorneys. My private adoption cost me $1,000 for my lawyer and then there was the filing fee. See what work you can do yourself, like your background checks, medical reports, reference letters, etc... don't have a professional charge you for their time on those kinds of things. Your home study might cost in the arena of $1000 (that's what mine cost). But I bet that if you look around, you can do this adoption for around $2500.

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 11:45 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

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