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What can I do? My mom is very broke, I am a single parent of three...

My mom is retired, she's very broke, I buy her groceries when I can, but keeps "borrowing" money from my children and I .What should I do! I am not the bank.But I can't support her.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Feb. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Unfortunately, you need to learn some boundaries. I'm fully supportive of helping, but you can't do it if it's hurting you and your kids. Maybe help her with budgeting and find her some help with getting cheap groceries and necessities? You can check out the Dave Ramsey Group for more advice and support.
    mybratsmom

    Answer by mybratsmom at 6:46 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Well you have to be the one to tell her that you simply can not afford it. Help her find a way to help herself. Also, angelfood ministries, if you have one inyour area, provides cheaper boxes of food and it is good quality food too. Here is their website:



    www.angelfoodministries.com
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 6:46 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Would it work out for her to come live with you? That might be one way she could save money on living expenses and maybe contribute to your household.

    If that's not a good solution I would suggest letting her jknow you can't keep loaning her money, but you'd be happy to have her over for dinner. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • i was going to say maybe she could live with you and kinda be the nanny while you work
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:50 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • The only way I could see it working would be if you lived together so that it could save each of you rent/house payment, utilities etc...
    The sad reality is that a lot of older people (don't know how old she is) will do without food or heat to be able to have their medication or do without meds to have heat or food... I wish I was filthy rich so I could help all of the people I know who simply can't afford to atleast have their meds or turn the heat up on the cold wintery nights or a/c on hot days, as well as anyone that is hungry. Breaks my heart even hearing those stories.
    That's the only suggestion I can come up with that might help both of you out.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:51 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't want to live with her, she smokes and two of my children and I have asthma.....and it would drive me nuts! Don't get me wrong I love her.But everyday she gets angry about money and trys to make me feel guilty about it.I don't have a ton of money to spare.I just spent $300. to fix her car and bought her $100 of groceries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Only option would be for her to move in with you and go out to smoke in that case... but if you're not going to be happy living with her... then heck no, don't do it or everyone will be even more miserable.
    clip coupons, catch sales, and tell her no when you don't have the money and offer her supper as often as you can maybe?
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:01 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • learn to coupon and teach her too?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 7:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • She refuses to help herself, not to sound mean, but she lets things go , until I take care of it-who said I was the parent! I wish I had more options!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • She's your mother. She took care of YOU for at least 18 years, right? So you should feel obligated to help HER now. Stop whining about how hard your life is with three kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

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