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how long will I feel like that??

My son was colic filled, don't touch me, cry all the time Infant.. I get so jealous sometimes of ALL babies and mothers .. It seems I had the hardest baby in the world and missed out on just about everything. We never found the cause and he's since "grown out" of this at just over 2 years old... still on the harder end of kids than most have but this has very much prevented us from having more kids on the "just in case " situation.. There is just no way I will chance having another child like this. I lvoe him with ALL my heart but I still feel I missed out on so much and just wonder sometimes if the bond would be "stronger" had it not been SO hard???? I wish I could jsut get over it and realize what an amazing angel I have, I know its true but can't stop...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Feb. 19, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (8)
  • WOW wow wow. I read your post and that could easily have come from me about my son. He was such hard work, so sad and demanding , colic and reflux and just awful I felt ripped off, and like I was the worst Mum in the world. Then Baby number two was the absolute opposite.she slept, giggles, coo'd and did everything all the other babies did. Delicious.
    We now have 4 kiddos, first and third were hard work (but 3rd still managable) 2nd gorgeous and my 4th, oh my lordy just a dream come true piece of heaven. Pleases don't give up your dreams of a larger family based on this first two years. You have learnt alot, and will probably do things differently too.
    Happy to PM if you like. Trust me it gets soooo much better
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:05 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • don't be so hard on yourself. That is really hard on parents and stressful. Be glad that it is behind you now and you can start enjoying your child's emerging personality.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:02 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • My son had colic for 8 months. It's not 2 years but 8 months was long enough. BRUTAL on him, my husband, me and our older son. We were all so stressed that it took a long time to bond with the little bugger. He is 5 now and the love of my life, really. My first son was the easiest baby in the world and then came along this guy. All I can say is that the pregnancy Gods seem to even things out so chances are you'd have a good baby next time around but who knows. Try appreciating him now and in time, it'll all be great, really.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • Lots of women have babies like yours. Maybe you should talk to someone about how you feel so you don't carry this resentment info the rest of your little one's life....

    It couldn't hurt to try :)
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:24 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • OP: that's what I mean, I LOVE him.. I really DO enjoy him right now.. but he's still off the chart hard.. nothing medicallty though, I mean, believe me, I've checked it all.. but ..... I can't stop myself from wondering and just Wish I could stop it.. it will NOT do any good to keep wondering or thinking like this but some days get SO hard or even on the good ones its liek, wow, I love you SO much, what if things had been even better??!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Feb. 19, 2010

  • well I have three kids one was like yours only never slept through the night until 5 years old. Seriously. She is the love of my life only Mama would do. Oh crap that is draining. She is 16 now and won't even talk to me. Oh boy. The other two were somewhat normal babies. Then there is my sil who had two boys just like what your describing. I used to baby sit for her. The only thing I could do to make this baby happy was carry him face away from me up and down the hallway. OY! He was colicky and sick. Then her second one was way worse. GOd only knows how she did it. They are amazing adults and very smart. Her third kid was a charm came out happy and just as easy as the day is long. I guess my point is we take what we get. You will never know if you don't try. Look at all the blessings your son is now. NOw that your wiser and such. Keep talking and we will keep listening.

    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Just keep telling yourself that all babies are different. My first was a pretty easy baby. She rarely cried and wasn't fussy much. I didn't think twice when I was pregnant with our 2nd but he was completely different. He had reflux and colic. He cried every single night from 11pm until 2am (like clockwork) for no apparent reason. Just scream and scream and scream. He had to sleep in his carseat because if he laid down he would scream from the reflux but to get him to sleep I had to rock it. I took an hour to feed him because of all the spitting up and clothing changes and then another half hour to rock him to sleep just so he could wake up an hour later to start all over. He was easily over stimulated so would scream when he was tired because of all the noise and lights in the house. On top of that I had a 1yo to deal with. Yet we went on to have a 3rd child 13 months after he was born and she (cont)
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:23 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • (cont)
    was an angel baby. She never cried, was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks and was just perfect. If I had the attitude of worrying the next would be like my problem child I would have never had my middle daughter who is the sweetest little girl in the world.
    And then, on top of that, when my oldest turned 3 she went from being this sweet, nice little girl to a monster. She threw tantrums all the time, screamed, told me she hated me every day. And it only got worse. She's almost 10 and throws more tantrums then a 2yo and my son is 8 and is the sweetest kid in the world, always helpful and considerate of other people.
    You just never know.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:26 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

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