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What would you do if your family treated one of your children different~better~ than the rest of your kids?

My sisters are always playing favorites! my son just turned 6 and my sisters are all over him and planning to bring a whole bunch of presents to his bday party 2moro which normally i wouldn't care but my other son who turned 4 on his bday last august was hurt and to this day still remembers the fact that he didnt get any presents from my sisters or my mother for that matter and today he has been on the verge of tears because of all the phone calls my older son has gotten from family its making me want to call off the party for tomoorow but at the same time i dont want to hurt my older son. what would you do in this situation

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lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 12:26 AM on Feb. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (759 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • why would they do that ? That is horrible that they treat them that different and to not even get your youngest a present ! If I was in your postion I would call them and tell them they need to bring your youngest a gift tomorrow or to not even come at all .... I am very close to everyone in my family but if they were acting that way I would be cutting them out -- and letting them know exactly how wrong they are !
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:38 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • i agree! they need to bring your youngest a present. and he needs to steal some of the spotlight tomorrow, or tell them not to come. and if they cant treat your children equally, then to stay out of their lives. that is not the way to be with children, and your mother should be ashamed of herself! she is acting this way? no wonder your sister learned their terrible behavior from her!
    mrsjosey1018200

    Answer by mrsjosey1018200 at 12:42 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Time for you to lay down the law.

    OUT of the earshot of both of your children (and yes, they can hear through walls) gather your sad excuse for a mother and those awful sisters of yours and tell them the way it will be. BOTH of your children will be treated with the same level of respect and love or else you will tell your boys that "Grandma and the girls" are always busy. ALWAYS BUSY.

    YOU are the boss here, YOU are the mother, and YOU need to stop this NOW. You should have stopped it last August.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 6:01 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This is something im dealing with at the moment my kids are subjected to favouritism by my kids dads side, my daughter is the apple, my sons the pips, ive told them their behaviour is disgusting, and i wont have them treated like that, there are other issues, and i think they are using the kids to upset me, the behaviour is very damaging for the kids, and i will stop any contact if that continues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Well either your family is completely unfeeling or maybe...maybe they just see the 4 year old as not really understanding the whole party presents thing yet. My DD will be two in a few months and we are just having a small party, I don't buy her much. Next year or maybe the following I'll start getting more creative with her parties. This is just a thought....I'm hoping you family really isn't that insensitive.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 7:52 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I'd tell your family that if they can't treat your kids equally, then don't bother coming!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 7:55 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I have flat out told family members either they are fair to all of our kids or they aren't involved in any of our lives.
    PeytonNBella

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 9:01 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Maybe ask them not to give gifts? They should treat all your children equally. Kids do have feelings too and they can tell when some one is playing favorites. Not only does this treatment affect the child but quite obviously hurts the parents too. :-(
    My MIL spoils my oldest and IMO does NOT give my second DS near as much attention. She asks to take my oldest to her house for the day, she buys him clothes, and even when she's here watching them so I can run out to a dr. appointment almost all of her focus is on him.
    How is she going to treat my next child who is due in June??
    sometimes she talks to and about my oldest as if he is her child. It drives me crazy!!
    We're moving about 30 minutes north of here in the summer hopefully that helps her realize that time with the other grandkids is important too.
    SabrinaLC

    Answer by SabrinaLC at 9:43 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I would talk to them and let them know that their behavior is childish and not acceptable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Speaking as the family favorite, it doesn't do any favors to us either. I was spoiled rotten and then I was abused by my sibling. I think you need to nip this in the bud fast.

    I agree with the poster who said to take them aside and tell them if they do not shape up and bring presents for the younger child, they will eternally be "busy" when your kids ask .. Cards will go in the trash .. calls will go unanswered .. etc.

    My brother was always in my shadow and as a teenager he started hurting me physically because he hated that I always got all the attention and could never do wrong - he was a bit older. It can get serious when kids are treated unfairly. It can damage their relationship and for the child that is treated unfairly damage their self esteem to the point that they feel they must tear down their sibling to their level.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

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