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I can't believe I did this!! Have you ever lied and fixed it?!

A couple years ago my SO's business failed. I was in college and needed his promised financial help to get along, so I got a credit card to live off of til I got a job and til he got back on his feet. FF 2 years later. He asked me how much was left on the balance (it was 8,000 now roughtly 2,300), and I said "700" .. I wanted to spare his feelings! Well he says "we'll have to pay that off when I get my refund. I paid in way too much this year". Now I'm sweating bullets. He's going to pay 700 on it and there'll still be a balance and I'll still be paying on it.. so if he sees my bank statement he's going to find out!

Gruh. The holes we dig ourselves are always the deepest!!

Now I don't know how to go about retracting it. I only said it so he wouldn't feel bad. He feels bad because he told me he'd help me through college and couldn't for a while, but now I've gone and lied to "spare his feelings"?! Help.. !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Just be honest, tell him you're sorry, and leave it at that. He might be upset for a little while but when he realizes why you didn't tell him the whole amount he will get over it... It sounds to me like you've learned your lesson so stop beating yourself up for it!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:16 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Be honest & proud of what you've paid so far. Most people get buried in credit card debt for many years.

    Answer by mommorgan at 10:18 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • yeah just be honest. i do something similar a lot: my dh will ask me how much something was and i always say like 5 or 10 dollars less. i dont know why i do that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • yeah oopps, dotn know where i got that number... its really xxxx. no biggie.. people make mistakes right?

    Answer by Tummysmomma at 10:23 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I don't know why you lied. I mean, you say you did it so you wouldn't hurt his feelings, but I don't see how that would hurt his feelings. Maybe I just look at it differently. I would just tell him that you messed up, you lied when he asked how much was left, you're sorry, and this is the true balance. He's probably going to be upset with you for a while, and honestly, you need to accept that he has the right to be, but he'll get over it. It's not like you had an affair.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:39 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • yeah oopps, dotn know where i got that number... its really xxxx. no biggie.. people make mistakes right?


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • OP) tropical, to be honest I don't even understand my logic anymore. I was thinking he was dwelling on the past hardship and so I was trying to allay worries / guilt (he expressed to me many times how badly he felt that he couldn't help me out like he had promised) but then I realized the real intention behind the question and now I feel stupid, especially since he is happy he can fix it now and probably can't now!

    I am soo anxious. lol. I feel like a jerk and I am normally not one to lie because I know it can lead to more lies to cover lies and so I really wish I had not done it and yes I've learned my lesson here!

    I can't do "oops" like someone suggested, but I guess I can try to make him understand what I was thinking - probably to no avail.

    I am in for some trouble. This just sucks.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I'm sure he's told you a lie before. The truth shall set you free. He was asking you so he could pay it off for you. Tell him you didn't want him to have to pay anymore than 700, so you will be paying the rest. Tell him that's where the original figure came from because you felt bad if he had to use that much of own money to pay it off.

    Answer by lowencope at 11:01 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This is not a big problem to normal couples. If you are afraid to admit something to him then you are probably in an abusive situation. Nothing we can offer can help you avoid him reacting inappropriately. I am sorry you choose to live like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • OP) Ooo lowencope that's sneaky but it'll avoid a stupid argument/fight so I guess it's worth it.. thanks!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

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