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Anyone else have friends that just don't understand that when you have a child you can't just go out whenever you want?

I'm a young mom and I understand that many of my friends don't have how are they really supposed to know what it's like but some things are just common sense!

The other day, my friend (she's 19 and has a 2 year old) called me up at 8 o'clock at night and asked me to go have dinner with her and go shopping. I told her I couldn't cause I wouldn't have a babysitter and she was like "just bring her with you." It was 6 degrees outside and there is about 2 feet of snow on the ground. I said "I don't want her to get sick, it's too cold out" and she was like "just bundle her up real good." and she wouldn't stop asking.

And I've had so many friends (older friends like 25,26) stop talking to me because I told them I couldn't hang out one time cause I needed to take care of my daughter.

Answer Question

Asked by nessani28 at 10:36 AM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Oh by the way my daughter is 4 months old.

    Answer by nessani28 at 10:37 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yeah I have a friend who is 25 (I'm 24) and she just expects me to make shit happen like magic. Im single, have a 1 year old and 3 year old, and broke. She doesnt understand that yes, i would like to have a cheap dinner and a few 1 dollar beers with her, but i also have to find a sitter, that I have to PAY, to be able to do this. She also doesnt understand that sometimes, on a friday night, id rather be in my bed watching family guy after a long day of being a mom.

    Answer by snoober_k at 10:43 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yeah, sure do. But now she's about to have her first child, so she'll start understanding ;)

    Answer by wahm_abbeyrose at 10:56 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yep, I'm 37 with a 13, 7 and 6 yr old and I have always been the one to stay home while all my other friends still have girls night out and leave the kids with Grandma,Daddy, etc.. I just finally got the I don't give a shit attitude when it comes to how others chose to raise their kids. When I became a Mom our boys were my first priority and always will be. Hubby and I agree that if we do go out it's together and never without the other. Since all of ours are in school now I enjoy my time alone during the day. I do what I want and don't have to answer to anyone when I'm on MY time...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:59 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yes. I have a friend who randomly comes into town, and when she does (unexpectedly), she wants to go out to the club. I would love to go out to the club, but I cant get a sitter at last minute like that! She understands... but I hope she has a kid soon so she can REALLY understand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • YES! I am 35 and my daughter is 15 months old. My friends in the office are all younger without kids and live in the city so they want to go out to dinner or a bar all the time. On the flip side, we live in the suburbs and most of our neighbors are a little older with grown kids. They also want to go to dinner or out for drinks all the time but forget we have to come up with childcare to do it. UGH!

    Answer by MJmom892 at 11:30 AM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Our friends both ask us to go somewhere far away and possibly pricey at short notice, and they come over to our house and stay late, every time. We tell them no to the trips- we go on one long road trip per year because that's all we can afford and they know it, and we have a rule when they are over: if they wake the baby (they always stay well past bedtime), they take her home. They have yet to wake her up; I wouldn't send her with them, but they got the message pretty quickly.

    Answer by preacherskid at 12:00 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yep! You have to rearrange your friends and get rid of the majority of them. Once your "Party Fun-ness" wears off, they want nothing to do with you. I haven't seen any of my "friends" in almost a year. My husband is my only friend now, and maybe my mom. It's disgusting how young moms are treated. Just wait, when THEY get pregnant they'll be hounding you for advice.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 1:07 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • AHHH, yes. I hate it! Our friends want us to go to this concert in the city with them in a few weeks & I'm like, I can't just leave my baby for 8 hours at night! I have a couple girlfriends that are more understanding, thankfully. And I'm meeting more moms, which helps.

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 2:28 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • none of my friends are like that, but I havent stopped doing anything I did ( like the way I go out and hang with friends ) before I was pregnant, My son usually goes everywhere with me except when I need a break and he gets bundled up everytime we take him anywhere. But if I decide that we arent going anywhere no one gives me a guilt trip or anything like that. But then again all my friends have kids and understand completely. Maybe getting friends that are more mature and have kids will make things easier

    Answer by krisholl2285 at 11:51 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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