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new baby coming and uncontrolable 3 yr old.

I have a 3 year old little girl, i got married in november and just found out i am 4 months pregnant. i am so worried and scared that i cant do it. the only reason i am scared is because i have no control over my daughter, she does not respect me she will not listen to me all she does is laugh when i disipline her. she listens to everyone but me. she use to listen to me, then one day it just stopped. please i need advice on working with her to make things better for me and her before the new baby comes, i am just worried that i wont be able to handle her and a new baby, she is wild and does as she pleases no matter what i say or do and i have no support on anything. please if you moms have any advice or tips please let me in on them. thank you.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Someone suggested 1-2-3 Magic to me a long time ago, and it helped. It's a book...you might look into it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:30 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Change and up your discipline tactics. If she's that bad, what you're doing isn't enough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I am tyring and trying, she is a completely different child when my husband comes home. when he comes home its like she has been a little princess, all he has to do is tell her to knock it off and she will stop. she fears him. but with me its like i am a nobody i have tried many many different approaches, and my husband thinks it is funny.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • it has gotten to the point where i cant even get her to eat her breakfast, lunch, or dinner....she will not go to bed unless HE tells her to. she just doesnt respect Me anymore and i just want help getting it back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Husband needs to back you up when he is home and make you one of the authority figures. Right now she is testing how much she can get away with around you, what her limits are. Without knowing your current discipline methods, it is hard to say if you could do something differently. The first thing, though, is to get your husband to back you up when he is home and she is not listening or respecting you. She also needs to know that you mean business. If you threaten a punishment, follow up on it every time. This is just general, you may do this already. Consistency in discipline, following up, and making sure she understands why she is being punished may help.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 3:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Try using time out , the key is to stay calm be consistent. You have to show her that you are in control. It is not so much how long she sits in time out, but that she knows that you are in control. If she acts up, warn her that she will be placed in time out. If she continues place her in a chair and if she gets off the chair keep placing her back on the chair. Eventually she will wear down and know you mean what you say. Once she sits even if it is for 3 minutes get down to her level and tell her why she is sitting in time out. Give her a hug and tell her she needs to listen. Try and focus on praise whenever she does good. She will then learn to want the attention for good behavior rather then for bad. If she is good reward her for a day out to the playground or something the two of you can enjoy.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 3:18 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Good luck !! I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old both from the same daddy . She doesn't even listen to daddy anymore and NOTHING works with her when it comes to disipline . We have tried to keep consistant but she hasn't gotten any better. She has NEVER tried to hurt her baby sister she just stopped listneing to us and started really acting out in other ways .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think one reason your child does not listen is she is with you all day and 'tunes' you out . She listens to your husband because he is not there all day, and he probably has a more firm voice/tone. My boys are like that with me some days- I will tell them to do something 3x and they won't 'hear' me, but as soon as my hubs says it they do it.
    One thing that works with me is I try to stay calm I am firm, I am consistant and if I say something I follow thru.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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