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sister is pregnant again w/ her 4th child, all fatherless. i'm upset...

Ages of her children are 9, 5, 15 mths, and 3 1/2 mths prego with her 4th. All fathers were out of the childs life from the beginning. She has had abortions and miscairrages. She makes everyone help her in some way, especially our parents. I'm sad for my sisters kids. She meets a new guy all the time and drags them along whether they like it or not. She's totally selfish and uses the system for its money. I have stopped talking to her before I found out about her being pregnant, because I'm tired of how selfixh she is. She needs to stop putting her kids second to everything. She's a leech!!! And drains from anyone who will give to help or enable her. I don't want anything to do with her or her new baby. She has hurt us and our family for soo long in really fucked up ways. I'm over it. Is this wrong??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Is she on drugs? I think she needs some sort of intervention,,,,does the State pay for these kids or the fathers? I would honestly call CPS if there is any abuse,,,,she also may have some disorder, perhaps bi-polar? I think the best investment your parents could make for her is a tubal ligation at the birth of this baby,,,poor kiddos! It makes me angry as well and she isn't even my sister! IDK what advice to give you other than to be there for the KIDS!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:59 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • No you are not wrong. She is being extremely selfish and I agree, I feel sorry for those kids. Your parents need to cut her off and than she'll see what life is really like. She's not going to stop if things keep getting handed to her, because she's come to expect that when she screws up, someone will be there to take care of her/kids. She needs to be told no, and then when she has to do it on her own, hopefully she will figure it out. But like I said, as long as mommy and daddy are there to give hand outs, it's not going to stop. I think you need to speak with them now since talking to her hasn't worked. Good luck :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • OP here:
    Her own 9 year old DD told her to please stop going out with bad guys and be a better mother. She asked her to stop having more kids when she found out she was pregnant with her 3rd child. My neice was very upset and didn't want to except it. I feel horrible for her kids. The problem is when you try and do something for her kids she will take full advantage of it. I just want them to be happy and stip having this selfish mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Are you in a position that they could live with you, or with yours and sisters mother? Maybe if you put pressure on her with no more financial help to her, only for her kids if they live with either you or mother as guardians the kids would be better off.

    Sorry for your sadness hugs to you.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 3:02 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Sad reality is a lot of people have more children to get more money from the system :(
    I personally think that after so many babies that the state has to pay for they should be made to have their tubes tied.
    I feel so sorry for those children. Maybe instead of buying the kids gifts, maybe you could put money in a savings for them (without her knowledge or in a bond so that she can't touch it) so that they have a chance of making something of themselves later? I wouldn't stay away from the kids because of the Mom tho... they're going to need something constant in their lives,someone who's stable and offers t hem a view of what normal is.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:06 PM on Feb. 20, 2010


  • Years ago when my sisters eldest was like 3 and my sister was pregnant with her 2nd from another guy she chose to live under a bridge with her new boyfriend and my neice. This new bf wasn't the fauther of the child she was pregnant with just a new guy. So she lived under a bridge for who knows how long just so she can stay with her bf. Then shortly after that she moved to a shelter. My neice at 9 has gone thru so much. I want to call CPS but how do I do this to them. It will just put the kids thru the system and it will be worse. She doesn't abuse them physically but I think by her slefish ways this has to be some type of abuse

    OP HERE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I have a sister like that, only difference is that she is self sufficient. Unfortunately she will learn her lesson the hard way, and karma is real...best of luck to you and her poor children.
    Princefan6684

    Answer by Princefan6684 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • It's normal, but in a way, wrong. You have every reason not to want to have anything to do with her. But those kids need help and as family, you should do what you can. If she's not abusing them, the there probably isn't much you can do to get them out since there are too many emotional abuse cases for the state to even think about taking on. Just be there for them when you can =(
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 4:11 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • She really needs help. Her life is a disaster and she doesn't seem to know that what she is doing is so wrong. She needs an intervention...something. I swear I have never heard of such a mess. The poor little kids!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This is sad. You have a right to feel the way you feel. Anyone in your shoes probbaly would.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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