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How do I keep my 18 month old from getting jealous or feeling left out when the new baby is born?

Any tricks or special time
Any suggestions will help
My 18 month old has been the baby and gotten lots of attention from day one. She is the youngest out of everyone including her cousins so she really hasn't had to share the attention all that much. I just don't want her to get jealous or feel left out when the new baby comes. She loves to help out now, but my fear is that it will change when the baby comes.

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Asked by mommyharding at 3:30 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (3)
  • One stellar young mom I met told a story of her older child standing at the bedroom door, glaring at mom and new baby lying on the bed, clearly feeling jealous and angry about this newcomer. Mom, in a moment of brilliant insight, said, 'you feel left out because I'm loving this new person and not you?' The child nodded. 'You know that this is exactly what I did for you, when you were tiny?'

    She said she could feel the mood shift, even from across the room... her other child relaxed, nodded, and then came over to see the new baby with a big smile. They talked a lot, in the first few weeks, about handling babies, and what babies need, and what babies can't do or understand yet, and how long it takes to get to the age the child was now. It morphed into conversations about how different it was for this little one, with someone else already there to love apart from mom and dad, but no 'just me' time, which is kinda sad...

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:40 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • My oldest daughter wouldn't let anyone touch me if she was around, sit by me, etc. I thought I was going to have an all out war when her sister was born (she was 18 months when her sister was born) but it was immediate love at first site! = ) She hadn't been happy AT ALL about mommy having a baby but as soon as she saw her sister she started telling everyone, "That's MY baby Jada" (her sister''s name) and she hasn't stopped being the protective mini-mommy ever since. They are the best of friends and as close as two sisters could get. They look out for one another and everything and it just warms my heart everytime I see them holding hands and hugging and such (lol, I'm tearing up thinking about it now). Even if your little one is a little jealous explain to her that you have to treat a new baby a certain way and she got treated that way too. Make sure you hold her and love her every chance you get, and take her places

    Answer by Memigen at 3:51 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • only "big kids" can go every now and then (I made places up, like walking to the mailbox with mommy and such, lol... my daughter loved it because the baby couldn't walk like her!) ; ) Also, before the baby gets here plan a few nights that you "camp out" or something in the living room. Let her stay up late and just watch movies and do stuff she enjoys. That way she doesn't feel left out with all the new stuff being bought for the baby and everything else that's happens right before a new baby comes. Then, makes sure after the baby gets here you let her help as much as possible and still do the things with her that you did before as much as possible (even if it is hard to find the time or juggle both kids). It isn't easy but you can do it and I hope you have the same luck I did and have two best friends. = )

    Answer by Memigen at 3:53 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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