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Question for Christian wives.

In my church we are taught that the two greatest needs for a husband are honor and sex. But right now, I'm pregnant, and my sex drive is at a zero. They say in class that you (as a wife) should do it even if you are not in the mood just because you love him. For some reason, this does not seem quite right to me. If I don't want to, even though he is my hubby, I don't think I should have to. It's not like he's completely cut off, and it's not like I don't love him! Sex just does not do it for me right now because of my horomones and such. What do you girls think?


Asked by Amber211 at 3:52 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 12 (884 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (64)
  • Carrying his child is a huge thing, and a man needs to respect all that that entails. Its one of the most loving things a woman can do for a man, and a man should love you for that, respect you for that, and understand that your carrying HIS child may make you not feel like sex. Its part of the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth. And the process is supposed to be something that is magical and beautiful, its supposed to bond you together, even without sex. What is he going to do after the child is born and you have to wait 6 weeks before you can have sex while you heal? Its not all about sex, and any man who respects his wife understands that, desire/needs and all.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 5:14 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I am in the same boat. If my DH shows interest and wants to, I will, but I don't initiate it.

    Answer by momov4kids at 3:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • um... isn't sex when you don't want it rape? sorry but I don't care what the church says, if I don't want it, he doesn't get it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • If he doesn't feel like showing you affection in the way that you like, will you be okay with that? If so, keep turning him down. It's a very real need for most men. The Bible instructs us to consider the needs of the other. Sometimes this means giving a husband what he needs even if we don't "feel like it."

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it either...and I don't do it if I don't feel like it.

    Answer by mominbolt at 4:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Unintentionally posted anon above.

    Answer by Lexylex at 4:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • ummmm I'm not sure what church you go to????? but I attend Baptist and yes the Bible does say that husbands and wives should fulfill each others needs but it also says for wives to honor their husbands and for (pay attention here) husbands to honor and respect their wives! it works both if he demands you do (first off its rape if he does it and your not willing -i know this is a stretch but true...this does happen sometimes) then he is not honoring you!!! You are carrying his child and he should be taking care of you and making sure you are feeling well and NOT uncomfortable. Now on his behalf you should offer ample opportunity for him to be cuddled and be intimate with him as you can. There are other ways you can please him without being uncomfortable and you will both find it will increase the love and intimacy you have for one another. Good Luck hun!

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 4:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think that's misogyny. But, whatever rocks your boat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think your husband should repect how you are feeling right now

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 4:12 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This isn't a religiously colored answer, because I can't think of any direct teaching my denomination has on such an issue.

    BUT, I think it's very normal for a woman to not feel sexy during a pregnancy.

    But I think it's worth it to go for it any way with dear hubby because pregnancy gives you a nice gift in return for not feeling like having sex. Without getting too graphic, you have more blood in your private areas, and it's a lot easier to orgasm. You just have to get past the "not feeling like it" part to get there.

    You may just want to tell hubby how you're feeling, and let him know you're going to need lots more extra warming up than usual.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2010