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I'm only 24 weeks prego now, and thinking ahead. How will I explain to my child that her dad is a deadbeat in case she asks about him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • You don't. You let her figure that out on her own in time. There is no reason to badmouth the child's dad in front of her. You can't let your anger influence her. She will find out in her own time. If she asks you, you just tell her he is not around if that is the case and if he isn't around then why worry about it. And right now you should be thinking about your pregnancy and these thoughts you are having are probably stressing you out and so not healthy for your unborn baby. Think about good things and good times YOU will have with her and don't worry about HIM until the time comes. Good luck with all.
    momto1727

    Answer by momto1727 at 11:45 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • You don't. She may very well build up a wonderful imaginary dad, fully believing that her real dad is just like her play dad. That's fine, even healthy.

    Your job is to find simple ways of saying "He's not here" or "He couldn't stay with us". She will discover the truth one day.

    As she gets older (8 - 13), she may ask if he just left. At that point, you can explain that he just hadn't grown up yet, didn't want to accept responsibilty, and ran away. The important thing at that point is to make certain she knows he didn't leave HER, he ran away from the big job of being a parent. However, you'll still have to use a gentle, neutral voice and not bad mouth him.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:19 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • you should not tell her. allow her to see for herself how he is so that if she resents him later it won't be because you told her but she was able to see it for herself.
    Ms.Harper

    Answer by Ms.Harper at 1:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • no matter how mad you get or what ever happened between the two of you that stays with you your child will know that stuff automatic you do your best and show your child love and let god take over the rest BUT NEVER BAD MOUTH the other half to the child the child needs love not hate
    jojomommy

    Answer by jojomommy at 3:17 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

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