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How do you explain to a 5 yr old about gays?

We have a few gay couples as friends and one couple is very affectionate in front of others. It's obviously time for me to explain to my five yr old that sometimes men love men and women love women. I didn't think I would do this until I had to give her the sex talk. How would you go about explaining it? It's not wrong to me, I just didn't want to have to explain it to her yet...


Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would tell him that most men love women, most women love men, but it is okay for men to love men, and women to love women if that is what they want. If that is in too many words, you can just say boys can love boys or girls, and girls can love boys or girls.

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 10:06 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think you explained it great above.

    some men love women, some men love men, some women love women.

    You don't need to go into anymore detail

    and I would honestly wait until your child asks you about it. No point opening up a topic she didn't even have a clue about. KWIM?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Just say some peoples 'best friends' are same sex, and some are not...a 5 yr. old can't process anything more than that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think you did a good job as well. My son goes to school with a girl who "has two mommies" and I talked to him lightly when he came home and told me. He said the little girl told him that her family was just like ours only instead of a daddy she had two moms....he seemed to grasp that pretty clearly. Then we just talked about how all of his friends families are different than ours.

    Answer by Slinkee at 9:50 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Go to the library and see if you can find any books on the subject. 

    A Rainbow Celebration:
    Lesbians and Gays in Books for Children


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Yeah, my son is 3, and he has a gay uncle and a lesbian aunt. He realizes that they're two people of the same gender, but doesn't seem to care. I agree with everyone else-
    Some men like men, some women like women, and some men and women like each other.

    At 5 that should be easy to grasp, and if she hasn't asked yet, don't explain it to her. It may not seem weird or different to her. In fact, she may not realize that men/men women/women relationships are any different than man/woman.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 9:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • You explain just the way you stated it here. Some boys like boys and some girls like girls and that's just how it is. Not a big deal. Kids don't think of relationships in terms of sex. My kids have known what it means to be gay since they were toddler/preschool age. It's pretty normal to them and we don't even know anyone that's gay (that I know of).

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:02 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This may seem odd but I have a brother he is gay and married in a few months they will be adopting a baby. One of my sisters is a lesbian she lives with her girl friend. My sister went to a doctor and now has twin boys. I have a seven year old and I have never had to explain it her. It is a part of life. Oh my daughter also knows that I was adopted, and that my oldest sister gave her two kids to my mom and dad. They adopted my niece and nephew, not the twins. yeah I have a large family three brothers and four sisters.

    Answer by lady-J-Rock at 12:07 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Since being gay/lesbian isn't ONLY about sex, you don't need to wait to talk about about it until the sex talk comes up. Just explain it like you did in your post. "Most of the time, men and women love each other. Sometimes men love men, and women love women". Easy as pie.

    Answer by BaisMom at 12:08 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I agree, I think you said it beautifully in your question!

    Answer by jessradtke at 12:13 AM on Feb. 21, 2010