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am i being unsensitive towards my moms feelings?

ok. so my grandpa is in intensive care and my mom wants to rush to mexico to see him one last time, however, she is not in the condition to go because she suffers from all sorts of things. depression, diabetes, fibromyalgia, anxiety, panic attacks the list goes on and on. so we tell her not to go that grandpa would want to remember her happy and why should she be the only one to go when the rest of 6 brothers and sisters arent doing anything nor cooperating with money for her to go. not even grandma. so i told her not to go. that grandpa is gon na either pass on or be ok eventually oh and she has no money to spend or to come back

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Have a bake sale...do something to raise the money. She has every right to want to see her dad before he passes. You all should not be telling her to just forget it. If she is able let her. She may need to make her own peace. If you all are worried about her health, go with her.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:00 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • well, I don't see how you can go too if she doesn't even have the money to go herself...

    honestly, I don't think you're being insensitive. When my grandfather was in hospice, I was only about 30 minutes away but didn't go. The last memory of my grandfather I wanted was NOT him hooked up to all those machines and stuff. She's just going to end up seeing him in this horrible state, he probably won't even know she's there so really why bother? JMHO

    as for her health, take her to her doctor and get his/her opinion on if she is OK to travel that far

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I do understand your concerns but also having lost my father April 09 I would have liked to have seen him one last time even in the hospital hooked up to tubes (we all thought he would be okay but he passed suddenly) so yes just for her to talk to her father (even if he cant talk back) would mean she would never regret it. Some churches may help with this. I guess personally I would even take a loan out to pay back if I had to but that my opinion.
    hotrodmomma

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 10:11 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I don’t understand why the sibling’s or her mom should pay your sister’s way, it’s not she’s a child. Your mom should make that decision on her own; this is her father who she won’t see much longer. If she doesn’t she have some regrets and if you think her health condition now is bad just wait after he passes and she not there to at least hold his hand. I can see guilt written on the wall. Find a way for that money.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I would have given anything to have had the opportunity to have seen my dad one more time before he died, do not take this away from her. Just because her siblings aren't doing the same doesn't mean she can, help her do what she wants.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:15 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • It depends on how you told her that. I think you both have valid feelings and that there is probably a sensitive way to say that and an insensitive way to say it so it depends on how you told her and whether or not you acknowledged her feelings as valid or not.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 10:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Not sure she could take the trip in her condition anyway. Just the fibromyalgia alone would give her great pain. Is grandpa awake and coherent? If so contact the hospital and see if they have a computer. You could SKPE him and she could see and talk with him if he's able. She would be able to do the same thing on the computer she could do in the hospital except touch him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • SKYPE...sorry for the bad spelling. Someone has to have a laptop down there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:21 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • If she wants to go, let her. You wouldn't want her to hold it against you years from now if she regrets not seeing him one last time. What do you care if she wans to go? Yes you are being insensitive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • would you want to see your child even for a moment before you die?
    tab1023

    Answer by tab1023 at 10:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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