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Did anyone have a baby and realize you hate being a parent?

I am not depressed. It was fine at first. She's almost two, and she is actually a pretty great kid. She's healthy and happy, and I love HER. I just hate being a mom. I guess I am just selfish. I hate my life revolving around someone else. I hate that I'm expected to do everything for her. I hate that whether or not she is "good" as an adult is because of me. I love her, but I hate being a mom. Am I alone in this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (15)
  • So, what are you going to do about it?

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:09 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • No not really trying to make money to run a family can be scary and just plain weird at first but then you get used to it and realize YOU ARE A MOM!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • This does sound like post partum depression to me. If you don't want to be a mom, then let her go to your parents or someone who would enjoy caring for her. Casey Anthony took good care of her daughter too, but hated being a mom, so she allegedly killed her. I'm not saying you would kill your daughter, but I do think you need to work these issues out and give up custody and parental rights if you don't really want to be a mom because your child deserves to be raised by someone who wants to raise her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • i think that as a parent we go through that transition of our lives revolving around our children. I think it will get easier with time as your child becomes more independent. That is what i am hoping anyways. I have heard the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. how your child is as an adult is not only the things that you do but the people she is going to be around, friends teachers relatives coaches. There will be things that she will care about that mean little to nothing to you but it will be from some other inspiration. Your support and guidance and love will help her make good choices for her. She will probably look at the choices you have made in life and look to your expectations of her when she is becoming the person that she is going to be. So don't let your life revolve only around her forever because as a mom you need to show her the ropes.

    Answer by tab1023 at 10:16 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I do not hate being a mom. But, there are times when I am tired and frustrated. But, every mom gets tired! Think about it this way.. what if someone took her from you and told you , you could never be her mom again...Would you still hate it ? I bet you would feel different... Hate is such a strong word. Not really sure how anyone can HATE being a mom....But, thats just me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Wow...I'm so sorry you are having a hard time.

    I'm a newbee but sometimes i just think "I wasn't ready!" And i see what you mean, I love my son so much but the thought of having to do this every day, day in and day out, for the rest of his life (well, mine) is scary!

    But i know that i am simply a Shepard, he is an amazing gift, but God is his King and my Son belongs to Him. All I have to do is press His word on his heart and God promises he will not depart from it when he is old. Until then....mommy & baby are just a work in progress.

    Hang in there! You have two years down already and my guess is it will get easier as she becomes less and less dependent on you....then you'll probably really miss these days!

    Answer by EricaPotter at 10:18 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I myself, it was really hard at first, and I still have days when I just kinda wish I could have a few days to myself. But I love my son more than anything, and really love being a mom. I do know someone who had a baby at 18. And she was going to do adoption at first, but ended up keeping her. And brought her over to my house the other day, saying she just needs some time away because she is having a hard time liking her daughter right now. Im sorry you are going through that. Idk your circumstances, but she is a young single mom, who was forced to grow up, and def wasnt ready to. But maybe you should see about taking a break to see if it will help things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I had a very hard time with adjustment at first, but once that passed at about 18 months..loL!! I have readily accepted that regardless if I hate it or love it.. the fact remains I AM a mother and i AM responsible for my son's future and how he turns out. You can either accept that and learn not to be so selfish or .... good luck because I have a sister on the other path and with there just is NO other person that can take the place of a mother.. period. I know it gets hard though, not for one second am I bashing you.. we are not all cut out for this job, however, your child did not ask for you to decide "hey, I am not good at this" you now have to figure out ways to cope and make sure she never feels you hate it so much.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:18 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I totally agree with you, so you're not alone. For me it's like I would rather be back at work than being at home with kids. I hate hearing "Mommy" 15 million times a day. Even if dad is home. Before kids, I was up and out when I liked. Now it takes at least an hour to get everyone ready. More if I didn't braid their hair the night before. Making it worse if my husband not lifting a finger to help. But asking each and every time we go out "what needs to be done?"

    Hang in there, their is light ahead.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • WOW! I am amazed someone (a mother at that) can post this, If you hate being a mom, check out "super Nick" search it on cafe mom and read this mom's dying journal of all the crap she has been through and the cards she had handed to her and I bet it will make you look at your daughter in a different light!!!!!

    Answer by SaRaHBeTh249 at 11:48 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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