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question for moms who have used hte ferbur method.....

so ferbur says to go in and reassure them at timed intervals. my baby is 9 months and when i go in to check on her it makes her mad! she goes from crying about it to throwing a screaming tantrum. should i give it longer intervals? what can i do to make it so she doesnt get mad?

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Asked by cassie_m at 10:43 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • If it makes her mad, yes do longer intervals. You can change it to fit whatever you/your babies needs are as long as you continue to check on him.

    Answer by wahm_abbeyrose at 10:47 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • At 9 months they can sleep thru the night. Get a video monitor so you can see that she is ok and don't go in unless she is in pain. It is a habit at this point, if you leave her she'll realize within about 2 days that you aren't coming in and she will start to sleep thru. My son did the same thing, it's because they think you're there to rescue them and then you don't, I would be mad too! Good luck...

    Answer by wanttoadopt0707 at 11:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • It might just not work for her. When I did the Ferber method with my son it worked in 3 days, the first day I went in 3 or 4 times I think, the second day I went in 2 or 3, and the third day I went in once, after that he went right down to sleep. It worked for him because he had a sleep association with me rocking him, so it was retraining him. With my daughter, every time I went back in she would become more hysterical, it didn't work for her at all. I think it didn't work because her issue wasn't a sleep association one. She had previously slept well and then decided to start screaming and refusing to sleep. I'm not sure what the problem was but I eventually had to just let her cry and not go back in. She was 2, not 9 months though.

    Answer by mybella81 at 12:06 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Honestly...I tried this for 2 nights with my daughter when she was 8 months old. I could see that it was torture for her. I was crying and my head hurt so I know her head hurt. I tried a method that I saw in a parenting magazine that's a "no cry" method and it was the best thing I've ever found a a magazine!

    I've used it with all my children. Within a week every single one of them was going to bed without a single fuss and without mommy being in the room.

    I would seriously find something else.

    She's probably screaming louder because she doesn't understand why mommy isn't coming to get her when she cries and when you do come in their she doesn't understand why you don't pick her up. It's obviously NOT for her (or any baby IMPO) so pick something else!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Longer intervals can make it worse. Ferber doesn't work for all babies. Tried it here and had much the same result as you. Tossed it after a week.

    What worked? Forgetting "methods" and watching my son's own sleepy patterns. We kept to a routine and he started sleeping longer. But we abaondoned the idea of sleeping all night...*I* don't do it and neither does my husband. Silly for us to expect our son to! And he still doesn't at age ten!

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:27 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • .*I* don't do it and neither does my husband. Silly for us to expect our son to! And he still doesn't at age ten!

    i like this and never really thought about it like that. i wake up sometimes bc i need a drink or bc i need to go to the bathroom, so why wouldn't they? my son woke up the other night asking for a drink, then he wanted to sleep w/ his cup and threw a fit when i wouldn't let him. lol

    Answer by mommytobobby at 12:51 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • It sounds like Ferber is not for her.. It worked on my son in four nights with minimal crying.. I don't think longer intervals will help do anything but make her more upset when you do come in.

    Try the book "the no cry sleep solution"

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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