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Does anyone else ever feel trapped?

I have three kids, my husband went to school to get the degree, he supports the family, I take care of the kids 24/7 he's not home all that much, and when he is, he's tired, grouchy, I give and give to my kids, one is okay, the other two just shit on me. This is my life, this is all I'll ever be, and I thought it would be a whole lot different. And like what if me and my husband ever seperate, he's the one who's supported us, Then I'd be screwed with 3 kids, and busting my butt at some min wage job? I'm just really bumming right now, so any positive feed back would be appreciated, don't need any more negative right now. Thanks.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I know how you feel...

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 11:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • My advice is find the time to get a degree, whether it's starting online, even 1 course at a time.
    My mom thought she'd be with my dad forever, was a stay at home mom with no degree, only high school diploma, and almost 20 years later plus 4 kids she got majorly shit on. Dad became an alcoholic, we got evicted from our house, etc etc. She was working a minimum wage job at the time too and had to support us on her own. She did it somehow, but it was hard and she was depressed a lot though she tried not to let it show.
    I'd hate for this to someday be you.

    Answer by jmpeskie at 11:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • You said, this is my life, this is all it will ever be. But why does it have to be that way? Have you considered slowly going to school so you can find some fullfilment outside home? A class or two at a community college or an online degree? If money is the problem there is financial aid. If I were in your situation thats something I'd look into.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:39 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • my dh and i went thru that...we just decided that we needed a we agreed that we need to be as loving supportive and flirty as we were when we first got together...and for u remember why you married him and think about the progress you 2 made so everything.. and maybe start leaving notes and get more frisky with him...after kids are in bed put on something sexy and seduce him...its hard for any man to be grouchy when there is a sexy woman in front of that one thing that drove him crazy when u 2 first got together...
    and another thing my dh and i did was made an agreement to have sex every night regardless of how tire either of us was..and it was a huge improvement..

    Answer by gothmama91 at 11:40 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • It's amazing that I stumbled across this question. Because I'm pretty much EXACTLY in your position. I'm married, my husband is going back to school, fulltime, and seems to hardly be home. I have three kids, but i'm preggo with #4. I decided recently that I was going to go back to school out of fear of if my husband and I ever got divorced or whatever, that i'd basically be screwed with where I am right now in life. I'm totally not satisfied. I rely on him more than i should. I'm taking online classes, so I can do them from home, and do most, if not all of my work after my kids go to bed around 7 each night. I feel like i'm getting the life sucked out of me. I feel like my husband and my relationship is shaky, as he's done things in the past that haven't exactly been honest. I feel trapped too. :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I think it's sad that women rely soooo much on men.
    I also think it's more sad that these women have so little faith in their marriages they "think they might get divorced one day." IF that's the case you should probably stop having children now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • I have a degree but haven't worked in eight years due to raising the kids and I feel trapped too. We put all the emphasis on his career and his being the breadwinner that we neglected me. The only thing we did right, is get a fat life insurance policy in case he dies. That's all I have. I think the anon above hasn't walked in your shoes. The other suggestions are good, slowly start taking a class here and there if for no other reason, it'll make you feel better. You can always go to a temp agency and inquire as to what computer skills are most valuable and then take a computer class.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • Anon 10:49 way to be supportive to someone who is already feeling pretty bad right now.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

  • anon:49...I used to be like you. I judged before ever being in the situation I am in now (I'm anon:41). I never thought I'd ever feel like this or anything. But in all reality, you have to think of every situation possible...not even just divorce....I'm not one to just give up on my marriage, really. There are things that have happened, that my husband has chosen to do, that has put our marriage in jeperody....i'm still here though...fighting for my marriage.
    But what if my husband died? I'd be in the same situation. The main bread winner is gone, and I have no education behind me etc. I don't control what he chooses to do ...the decisions he in all reality...anything could happen.
    But, on the up side, i'm getting an education to improve myself and my situation if it ever got to that.
    Please don't judge...instead, why don't you encourage???

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Feb. 20, 2010

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