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how can i bond with my baby?

my 3 month old baby girl does'nt seem to like being around me or cuddling with me..
shes always distracted with whats going on around her, except when shes with her father, she laughs and makes noises and paying close attention to him...
i tired to bond but she always turns away .. is it me ?

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Asked by hana87 at 3:19 AM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (5)
  • no, don't take it personally, she is just a bright, happy and alert baby who finds the world fascinating. Don't worry, she loves you. Carry her facing outwards so she can see the world, talk to her about what you can see and what you are doing. Smile and giggle and stop worrying so much- 50 years ago, the notion of "proper bonding" wasn't even heard of. It is a created hype from the media/medical. everyone else world to play on the insecurities of Mommies. You are doing fine, and she is happy, being distracted is a great sign that there is a very active curious brain inside, celebrate and be grateful for that.
    Good Luck Momma

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:01 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • There isn't anything to worry about. If your daughter spends more time with you during the day, she might find that seeing her daddy is exciting because it is a new face to look at during the day. You can spend tummy time with her to get some more interaction with her. Sounds to me like she is very curious about her world, and she is at the stage in life where she is now starting to see farther and in more color. It is an exciting time for her. Take a deep breath, smile and remember that everything in life is new to her.

    Answer by etsmom at 4:20 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • dont worry its normal. both my kids flipped flopped. they were very much bonded to me but then one month they wanted daddy all the time then they would switch back to me. its normal its a different face differ smells plus if your stressing out over it the baby can tell and will want to go to the calmer person. stay calm dont worry and just enjoy your baby. me and my dh joke all the time about the "flavor of the week"

    Answer by laura970 at 8:31 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • You *have* bonded with her! Bonding is done EVERY single day of your life.

    My cynical definition of bonding is that it's infant self defense...if you don't want to toss her out the window, you're bonded fine. **grin**

    Really? Just keep being there and doing what you're doing. You're fine and all is NORMAL. (Just wait. She'll tell you she hates you a dozen times a day as a toddler...but when you tell her you're going away because she hates you she will grab on and not let go!)

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:11 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Sounds like a normal, alert, interested in her world infant to me.

    My son was like that. He's still not really into cuddling and still interacts a tad more obviously with his father at a year old.

    The interactions we have are more subtle and almost primal like we talk to each other in a silent language that no one else understands.. body language mainly. It's normal. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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