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What do you do when your son is smoking pot?

Okay, I drug tested my youngest son the other day because I was suspicious about him using pot. Well, my suspicions were right and he was positive. He is almost 14, but I whole heartedly believe that pot is a gateway drug for harder stuff especially the younger you start to try it out. As of right now he is in counseling and we are dealing with it there. I have also basically put him on "house arrest" and he is not allowed computer, PS, Xbox or anything except TV. Any other suggestion on how to get my point across that he is way to young to be experimenting with things? And has anyone else had to deal with this? I know that I have used it but I was way into my 20's when I tried it and never did anything else. I just don't want this to lead into something that is harder.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (21)
  • I have been in this situation before the fact that you have him in counceling is a great thing you need to find out what this hell is under all of this and why he is hanging out with these kinds of kids and what made him try pot. I just went though this with my step-son that is 13 and there was a lot of issues that was behind this and the only reason he is not smoking now is cause he will be in a lot of trouble and he gets tested every other day.

    Listen i was a herion addict for 7 yrs and when i was 13 i smoked pot so you believeing that pot is a gate way drug i completely agree with you. I have been clean for 4 yrs and I have a wonderful hubby and a wonderful child of our own and two step-children. Stop this now before it is to late speak with his couceler and the school him. Be the mom that doesn't rest this is not your fault so don't do the blame game my mother did that.. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I despise that "belief" that marijuana is a "gateway" drug. This post disturbs me on so many levels besides that one though. My personal suggestion would be to be honest with your son! Simple as that, tell him honestly about your experiences with it and why you experimented with it in the first place. I do wonder especially since you said yourself that you "never did anything else", why are you so afraid that he will? I urge you to do a bit or referencing on the subject since you obviously know little about it and go from there. All you will get here is a big ole' bunch of ignorant opinions. You are certainly welcome to your own opinion, but please for your sons sake make it an informed one.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:54 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Truthteller I think you missed the bigger point : the child is 13 years old! She does not have to explain herself to a 13 year old boy but to give him rules to live by while he is in her care.
    OP, I would think about taking him to the probation officer. There you can get him into drug therapy and random drug testing, he should be put on probation as a wake up call. I know a lady that done this with her own 15 year old son, she made it clear that she would not tolerate this behavior. She also put an end to the group of boys he was hanging with. Afterwards 4 of them were arrested for drugs. (pot) A moms job is a tough one, and we have to do what is right for our kids.

    I have a 14 year old boy and I am thankful I have never been in your shoes. But if I were to find myself in your shoes, I would ensure that I have took the above mentioned avenue. I have ZERO tolerence for any drug abuse by a teenager, even it is my own.

    Answer by ronjwake at 4:18 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • it doesnt matter how old he is or what you do to stop him! he is going to do what he wants no matter what, he will prolly sneak around on you and the whole gateway drug thing is complete BS! I've done pot and some others but its the state of mind you have. I've never done a bad drug because I dont like the feeling of needing something soo bad, that is y i am the only one in my family who doesnt smoke cigs. All you can do is share your expeirence, advice and let him make his choices

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 7:01 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I agree with you pot is a gateway drug, and especially since your son is at such a young age and starting it is a big concern. Just sit down and be open and honest with him. He needs to feel he can confide and trust in you so that if he does have a problem he can open up and tell you. Another thought is be careful of the friends he is hanging with,although ultimately it is his choice sometimes being around others who do it, maybe a problem. Atleast you are making the steps to stop this now, which is the best thing you can do. Counseling should help. You need to let him feel like he can come to you even if he slips up that you want him to be honest. Too many times pot is taken lightely but in time it does become addictive, can cause you to lose jobs, and can lead to harder drug abuse. There is no such thing as occasional use it is an addiction and the sooner you end it the better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I agree that it is a gateway drug.... that doesnt mean that EVERY one who tries it will try other things. But it is rare that someone starts out with the heavy drugs from the get go.... they build up to them.... therefore making those first drugs 'gateway drugs'

    You are doing the right thing. It is dangerous and illegal... therefore he should not be doing it. And you are being strong - well done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I have to disagree with Sabrena... You dont allow at 13 yr old boy to make choices that are against the law. That is bad parenting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • OH and btw Sbrena... this forum is for parents of kids 13-19 not for the kids themselves. We would be happy to speak to your mother about bad choices teenagers make... but we were not looking to get opinions from the teenagers themselves. NO wonder your all about giving a 13 yr old free choice... you are only a couple years older.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • The idea that pot is the gateway to other drugs is ridiculous, I agree she is way too young, but tell me, have her grades fallen, has she changed her ways in a negative way? Talk to her with knowledge, not misconception, weed is a plant not chemically processes, very much like tea, only it comes with the thc. Explain your worry of her trying the harder drugs and how you feel she is still too young, if you come accross as totally forcing her she will rebel, it is a teens nature to do this. Monitor her friends her outings and take notice of anything unusual other than the red eyes and munchies.

    Answer by older at 10:40 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • You would be surprised to know how many children who are not adults started off just by using pot and did go on to other harder drugs it is not ridiculous, it happens all the time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Feb. 21, 2010

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