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do u agree with this?

I have a 2 year old son and.. My hubby his dad i feel is so mean to him.. You know toddlers they want to get into everything. Well my son was doing something I cant remember I think he was trying to stand on hubbys xbox and my husband screamed at him and flicked it hand . We you know i told hubby I dont want him doing that he is to young. But hubby said he has to learn. My son cryed for a few mins. I dont know what to do. When my son does something he is not suppose to do I tell him no and more him from the spot but everything hubby tells him no he starts screaming... what do u think?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • That's not good. Imagine how it makes your toddler feel. All they want is love. Do don't misbehave to upset their parents. They are learning, testing limits, and boundaries. You telling him no and moving him from the location is enough, it's redirecting him to something he can do. Maybe your child is bored when he stands on the station.

    I don't know if your husband would listen, but try to get him to try redirecting the child's attention to something he's allowed to do. Tell your husband it will correct the behavior faster than his yelling. The kid doesn't understand the yelling, it wont fix the problem. He stands on the station, you pull out his blocks and set him infront of them... build me something. Your child would probably be excited and glad to show off his building skills. Kids normally want to please you not upset you. If your husband gets this, I think he'd want to handle your son differently.

    Good luck :D
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 1:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I think your toddler knows that if he screams and throws a fit everytime daddy disciplines him then mommy will come "save" him and he won't be in trouble anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Tell hubby that screaming is not to make it enforce what he wants him to do, what he is doing is scarring him to pieces.
    Ask him if he wants his baby to be scared of him, if he doesn't he has got to stop the screaming.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • i think its just a mans way of thiings, my hubby is a great dad doesnt yell or anything at our child but instead of asking her nice to throw something away or swhatever he tells her all mean and stuff and i have to get on him for that im trying to teach hubs to say please,lol. just keep trying to get it into his head that ur baby is still a baby and doent understand yelling
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 1:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Your toddler is learning how to manipulate you and your husband.

    The first thing you need to do is sit down and talk with your husband and both of you get on the same page about disciplining your child. Then you both need to be consistent with it. If the two of you aren't going to follow the same routine, then your toddler is just going to get worse growing up about pitting the two of you against each other. Whatever you ultimately decide to do, it needs to come from both you and your husband. And if you absolutely cannot agree with each other...then perhaps you shouldn't be raising a child together. I don't intend for that to sound mean, but differing opinions on discipline can be a big problem-causer in a marriage, and it's not going to solve itself.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 2:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • My hubby is kinda the same way. Men are just harsher than us. I sometimes have to get on him though cause he's a bit to harsh. I mean there's a difference between discipline and like older said (Scaring your child to pieces). I say every time you're hubby does something wrong 2morrow you scream at him and flick him and then 2morrow night tell him if he don't like it then neither does your munchkin. Tell him to be more calm while disciplining the little one they have smaller feelings than us adults.
    Peekalou

    Answer by Peekalou at 2:15 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Screaming at him is wrong but flicking his hand isn't. My husband did the hand flicking think too. If our daughters did something like pulled hair or threw something. But screaming? He needs to learn to control that.
    I agree with the other ppl too though, you need to back each other up on discipline so your child doesn't walk all over you or think his mom is gonna save him. You and hubby need to sit down and talk it out and come up with something you both agree on.
    Malibustacy

    Answer by Malibustacy at 2:17 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Agree with DragonRiderMD and Malibustacy. A 2-year-old is not too young to be disciplined or have boundaries, and in this are it sounds like you may be pampering him too much. The fact that your son screams at your husband sounds like he's being a little bit spoiled. There is no excuse for a child to do that. On the other hand, I don't think a child should ever be disciplined in anger, and I definitely agree that your husband should raise his voice at your son, either.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 3:13 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • First of all, every family is DIFFERENT. You have to do what is best for your family. My DD is almost two, and the only times we ever really YELL at her is when she is doing something that could be dangerous (like the other day she went to unplug something from the wall). She has probably only been yelled at 5 times ever. If I get down at her level and talk to her, speak to her and tell her what she has done wrong, she stops. Her dad doesn't yell at her, her dad doesn't slap her hands (neither do I). She does get spanked as an absolute last resort, but it is very rare and it is never out of anger.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I think your toddler knows that if he screams and throws a fit everytime daddy disciplines him then mommy will come "save" him and he won't be in trouble anymore.


    AGREE!
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 3:53 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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