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Anyone dealt with a modification of visitation hearing??

Ex filed for a visitation modification. Our hearing is tomorrow. Just wanted to see if anyone has been through this and what to expect? Ex is wanting more time with DD which I'm not trying to deny, what he wants just doesnt work with my schedule nor what I think is in DD's best interest...any advice?

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plas221

Asked by plas221 at 7:24 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I just went through this a a few weeks ago. The Judge will listen to both sides, including witnesses if there are any, and then make a decision. Ours made one from the bench as soon as my ex finished testifying. She didn't deal at all with what we wanted it changed to, just listened to our arguments as far as us being "fit" parents and I had witnesses that had been with me and my children (babysitters, my special needs son caseworker, etc) to bolster my argument and then made her ruling.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I've been throught this the only difference is my daughters bio dad is a monster. He's 25yrs old and likes to have sex with 14 yr olds...he is an alcoholic, and he's abusive. So i don't WANT him around my child. BUT...basically....the judge gives him whatever he asks for no matter what I say, or what evidence I have on him...it doesn't matter. Good luck, hope everything goes in your favor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • So what are reason for changing visitaton? My ex has DD every other wed night 5:30-8:30. He wants every other Monday added. DD is starting school this year. When she comes back at 830, either ex gives her lots of sugar or lets her sleep becuase I cant get her to bed til 1 or 2am. No way is she going to function at school. I suggested instead of adding a 3 hour visit, he keeps her overnight and takes her to school the next day. that way she wont be bounced back and forth at night. Who do you think has the better idea, me or ex?? if i'm wrong - please tell me!!!!
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 7:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Just make sure that you make it clean w/the judge that this arrangement don't work with you. Also explain why you don't think it is in your DD best interest. You are just gonna be heard and your EX will be heard and then they will reveiw everything you all have to say. GL I hope everything will work out for the best.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I went through many visitation modifications, as others said the judge will ask you both what you want and then make a decision. Of course these things can be different from one state to the next and even within each state different from county to county.
    What you are saying here makes total sense, but be prepared for your ex or the judge to say that means his Wednesday should be overnight too. Is is possible to make the visitation on school nights earlier? If so I would suggest that and tell the judge (with out presuming why) that on visitation nights DD has a hard time getting to sleep early enough to get a good nights rest to be ready for school the next day.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:13 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • it actually sounds good to me. I would bring up that on the nights she goes to dad's and then comes home she has a hard time going to sleep (don't mention any reasons why b/c you don't actually KNOW and well it could be that she doesn't deal well with the transition) so instead of adding more changes to her schedule you think that an overnight stay would be a good way for dad to get some extra time and your dd to have less transitions....

    does he have e.o. weekend too?????
    maybe to an extension there... instead of bring home on sunday... drop off at school on monday.... that will also give less transitions and more time.

    Have you mentioned idea to dad???
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • yes i have brought it up to him and he doesnt want the overnight becuase he has to work in the morning and wont be able to drop DD off anywhere. its his way or no way. the thing is he knows i work on monday evenings (dd comes with me). if he gets this in court tomorrow, i will lose my dang job. he isnt willing to come get DD where i work (20 miles away) so that's out too. he wants me home at 530 to pick her up and then i have to pick her up from him at 830.
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 9:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • So he helps bring a child into the world and you are only willing to give him one day every other week? It's in her best interest to spend more time with her dad. You should find a way to make that happen. How would you like it if he only let you see your child every other week and for one day?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Just an update - our case was dismissed. The judge wrote "Mr. P's requests for modification of visitation are not well taken." Are there any rules for how soon he can file again? He wants to file for shared parenting.
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 3:21 AM on Apr. 17, 2010

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