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What do you do?? ~~looking to be judgemental or b***y don't bother...

Me and my love of 3 years hit a huge rough spot in the past year...inbetween there was a BIG suprize (I'm pregnant) which was even rougher at the time on us because unexpected. We've been engaged but needed to patch things up better!
ANYWAYS! is there a way to make it work? we both try and one or both always has trust or miscommunication problems..We want to make it work..but don't understand how..I love him and am in love with him he says the same about me..I have a hard time getting over the past. For him it's reading me wrong or he says i don't make him feel he's good enough..(idt understand) Please help! any advice but not bitchy advice! it's depressing when were not together were well basially dead...I just don't know what to do...
If this is confusing well we both want more than anything to be happy with eachother and work it out..How can I let go of past? maybe it is mostly me..how to make it work

Answer Question
 
mommy2be402

Asked by mommy2be402 at 7:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Try Family counseling. Good luck and hope you can work things out.

    Raeann11

    Answer by Raeann11 at 8:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Sometimes you can forgive, without forgetting. When you are in a relationship you have to decide whether you are better for being in that relationship, or if it does anything for you. If it does, you need to pick your "deal breaker" circumstances, and anything else that comes up, you communicate, you don't ignore little problems, and don't let resentment build up. My husband and I had a rough start. Most couples would have ended their relationships over what we went through. When we met he lived far away (over 10 hours), and I cheated on him. It took a long time for him to trust me again. I did my best to be trustworthy, and today (6 yrs later) we have a thriving marriage. I think that if you truly love someone, you never give up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Relationship have there rocky times and if your relationship is strong and worth saving to the both of you then you will work hard on saving it. If you love one another then you two need to get over the issues you have with one another and work on the relationship. Keeping a relationship strong you have to work at it, at all times. Problem don't fix there self. So you two need to figure it the issues you all have and fix them if it's worth it to you both if only one of you wants to work things out then sorry it's not gonna work. Just keep the issues you have with one another separate from the baby the child has nothing to do with it no matter if it the child was a surprise or not. GL and I hope you two can work things out. It's a hard thing to do you have to believe in the relationship and yourself.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:09 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • i'm not being bitchy...but its one thing to say i love you. Do you really? Its so easy to say it but maybe you don't "really"...or he don't. Its really something you have to work at getting along and learning to please each other.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:14 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Sorry but if this isn't stable to begin with then it won't get better. The stress will only get worse once the baby is here but good luck anyway
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Some people are bad communicators and need to be taught, so I say go to therapy of some kind, my DH and I learned things in pre martial counseling required through my church and things like that can help. You really need to have a 3rd party help you learn to communicate better so that issues are dealt with and then gone.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:51 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • It isn't your pregnancy, it isn't you. I'm in a simular boat ( won't go into here, just trust me). After reading post after post about couples fighting tonight, and I origionally came here to add my own. I have decided it's something in the air, with the weather or the like. I too am considering leaving, but like a pp said am trying to find where to draw my line of enough is enough. All couples fight no matter who you are with you are gonna fight, but it's whats said during the fights that make us want to leave. Weather we like it or not, words are severely painfull. I know cuz I'm trying not to cry just thinking about what he said to me yesterday. I'm online quite a bit if you need to talk here, or you can add me to facebook or yahoo using tjblackburn1@yahoo. I am always willing to listen or lend a shoulder or ear if you need it. I wish you luck!
    Alwaysacarnie

    Answer by Alwaysacarnie at 9:06 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • thank you all!
    my main problem is not being able to let go of the neg from the past. please again don't critisize.. when we argued it was BAD...and usually alchohole played a role..well nights would end with me wanting to go home and I would say were over..so he'd decide to go to an old friends house and stay with her.. it happend about 7 times total in our 3 yrs. He that I know of hasn't been doing that ..but i have a huge prob. I will bring up why, or how could he...he tells me to let it go and I'm still hurt about it. I'm feeling like is it worth even trying? that's hard to let go of. but I do know he loves me and I love him. If he doesn't see how it's gonna work or love was an issue...I would think y does he keep coming back telling me he can't live w.o me and loves me wants to make it work but he says I make him crazy lol....maybe I am and just need to let it go and walk away..love hurts
    mommy2be402

    Answer by mommy2be402 at 9:25 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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