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I'm getting sick of being called Controlling!

I have ligitimate issues with my child who is 16. Eveytime I set a boundery or a suggestion, I get called controlling. ERRR! What would you do, I have been ignoring the comments but it's getting super annoy...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have teenagers, so I feel your pain there. What I would do would be to look at them and say you're right, I am being controlling.

    We are ALL controlled by things in our lives - we're controlled by the law. We're controlled by the requirements of our boss. We're controlled by our physical and mental limitations. And, when we are a minor, and our parents are responsible for us, we're controlled by them. I'll take your feelings into consideration, but the bottom line is there ARE boundaries, there ARE rules, and, if you want me to treat you more like an adult, and give you more freedom, you need to show me that you're mature enough to handle that, by showing that you are able and willing to follow the rules and respect the boundaries.

    But as long as you keep breaking the rules and ignoring the boundaries, basically, acting like a child throwing a tantrum, then I'm going to have to keep treating you like a child

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • How much you want to bet she's using that word because she knows it bugs you?

    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 8:34 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Embrace it! Seriously....your there to set boundries! You don't have to be a friend to your child, but you do have to have respect.
    Brush it off like you don't care. Keep on doing what your doing, because you sound like your doing a great job! xoxox
    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 8:34 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I think that maybe your 16 year old is being manipulative. So, this is what I would do. Let them know that called you names, like controlling, will not let them get their way. If they are having issues than they need to sit down and talk with you rather than calling you controlling out of anger.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 8:35 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Without knowing your legitimate reasons I cannot give a good piece of advice. Teens needs independence and rules are fine but holding them back is not.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • cont

    Then I'm going to have to treat you like a child and have tighter boundaries and rules.

    Then, remind them that the more they act like a RESPONSIBLE adult, the more you will treat them like one. BUT - when it comes down to it, they are NOT an adult, so while they can give feedback on the rules, they do not get to determine them.

    GL!!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:38 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • LOVE YOUR ANSWER Sailorwifenmom!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • thank you :-) lol, we had to say something similar to our just turned 17 yr old ds. He thought we were all out to get him, because "his teachers give him homework even on days he doesn't have their class (they're on an A/B schedule, 4 classes a day, he has less than an hour of homework a day, is in 11th grade advanced classes, and has a study period every other day, so it's not a horrible work load.)

    He also said he thought we were "out to get him" because he was grounded for awhile because he wasn't doing his homework, one class in particular.

    Dh told him - he's right - we ARE out to get him - we're out to get him out of our house, able to hold down a job whether he goes to college or not, out to get him able to meet his responsibilities, and out to be able to take care of himself and any family he might have. We're out to teach him responsibility. LOL - our ds looked stunned, but he's doing his homework again LOL.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:52 PM on Feb. 21, 2010