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Need some help here...

So I have a 20 month old daughter, and she is well behaved and just a great child.... She loves dogs. My husband and I talked about getting a dog for a while (I have had a dog before and had to give her up when we moved a few years ago - I was devastated for a really long time). So anyway we decided to get a dog, and she is already housebroken, really sweet, and overall well behaved. I have been really impatient with her, and snap at her easily. I have never been like this with a pet. I feel guilty all the time. I feel like maybe I am scared to get close to her, or maybe I am taking stress out on her or something. I feel terrible about this and have even thought about finding a new home for her (its only been a week). Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Pets

Answers (8)
  • Just give yourself some time. It could be you are feeling guilty because you were unable to keep your last dog.
    justluvinmyson

    Answer by justluvinmyson at 8:39 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I would give it a little more time. You could be scared inside to get close because of the heartbreak you had in the past with your pet, or the dog could just be an easy target for your stress. The first few weeks are always an adjusting period when their is a new member living in your house. However, if you just can't care for the dog appropriately, than please find it a good, loving, home.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 8:40 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I would give yourself some time, and just like kids you have to remember that it is you and not the dog. You may also consider therapy if over time you still have an issue. I love dogs but really am not fond on my in laws dog which is weird she is the sister of my dog same litter.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:42 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • i am the same way with our dog and cat,ever since the baby came, and she is almost 2 now. just bare with the dog, who knows that may be ur childs best friend,someone to follow her around.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:46 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Having a dog is SO much like having another child. Yet,most people think the dog should 'know better' than a child, and should 'be patient, unlike a child. You have a child, so you possibly see the dog as something that should obey and listen.. because after all it is not your child. It's called 'projecting' in psychology. Perhaps you should take a step back ad ask yourself, is there a way for you to treat it like a dog? It is a pet. It doesn't know better, and it too needs guidance . The guilt is possibly from unvented stress, yes. If you cannot treat it like a dog, then yes find it a better home. If you can see past it's flaws and see it as another child, or addition to your family, keep it. Either way, you are not a bad person, you are a mom, who just got another 'child'. Look up projecting though, see if it fits. We often see our flaws in others before ourselves.


    Perhaps, it is you who lacks patience?
    IndieJones

    Answer by IndieJones at 8:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • There are other people to consider other than yourself here. How about the rest of your family? Do THEY love the dog? When you are making decisions like getting a pet you should obviously take more time to consider it. Now that you have it you decide you might not want it? THAT isn't fair to your family or the dog. You are being selfish. Find a way to get past whatever the issue is and give that dog the love it deserves.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:06 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I foster dogs and I will tell you it usually takes about 3-4 weeks for them to get used to the house and rules and for you to get used to having them there. When we adopt a dog it can take a few months for everything to run smoothly and for them to feel a part of the family. Give it time and you will adjust. Bringing a dog into your home is a big change and a big responsibility-just give it time.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 1:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice.
    Allergic, I know that this isn't a usual question, but there is no need to call me selfish. I am not being selfish. I am trying to get advice to try to make a decision. What you are doing isn't giving advice. I am thinking of my family as a whole and of the dog. If I was being selfish, I wouldn't have gotten a dog. I wouldn't want the extra responsibility, time, etc. That is the honest truth. However, my family wanted a dog. So here we are. I love our dog, I am just basically voicing my concerns.
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 9:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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