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Cry baby Boy's

My son is 10 and it seems that he is always crying when things don't go his way. Tears running down the face crying. The mother in me wants to comfort him and make it all better, but at the same time I'm not wanting to raise an insecure "sissy boy". I know its not PC but I would like to raise a man who steps up to adversity. I don't remember boys whining so much when I was growing up. Do any of you have advice or a simular experience? How do you deal with your son's?

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CKasting

Asked by CKasting at 9:08 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (304 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I have a nephew like this. He is a very sensitive boy and things just effect him more than they do other kids (boys and girls alike). A study showed that boys and girls cry about the same amount until 12 years of age, when boys start to try to "toughen up".

    What my sister and her husband do is talk about times when it's okay to cry. If you are really hurt, or if something really bad happens. They explain that someone taking your toy or sneezing on your dinner is not reason enough to cry, and discourage him by chiding him when he cries for a reason that doesn't really warrant his reaction, but comfort him when it is a legitamate crying reason. It's helped a little bit, I definately see a difference in him.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:22 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I work in a middle school and the poor little 6th grade boys sometimes still cry. The start outgrowing it when puberty hits I have noticed. Less tears from boys in 7th grade and I do not ever remember seeing an 8th grade boy cry in the 7 years I have worked there. Hope this helps.
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 9:22 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • There is nothing bad about crying. The "Sissy boy" label seems rather harsh.
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 10:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • He's just a sensitive little boy. You're a mean mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • He's ten. He's an adolescent going through hormonal changes just like a woman in PMS. I just talked with my dd today about this regarding her son. It's normal. Don't make him feel bad about it. He'll grow up to be a secure man if you acknowledge and validate his feelings.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • There is nothing bad about crying. The "Sissy boy" label seems rather harsh.
    He's just a sensitive little boy.

    I agree with both of these. I don't understand the need to keep boys from being in touch with their emotions and teaching them to not cry. So sad. A real man does cry and is tune with his emotions and the emotions of those around him. Allow your child to feel safe to cry at home when he feels he needs to. Once he feels secure at home and knows he won't be called a cry baby or sissy he might cry less in public. I feel for your son my parents were brutal with my brother. He is very emotionless and lacks any sensitivity. My parents never vocalized he was a sissy or crybaby but he got the message none the less. Has been hard for him to connect to his wife and children. Don't do that to your boy.
    momtolucas2002

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 10:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Holy crap, the crying drives me insane. I teach my kids that they only cry if they have a good reason, like broken bones, blood, or really sad, not just because something doesn't go their way. I send them to their room when they cry for stupid reasons. I always teach them that they have choices. They choose how they respond to their feelings. However, crying when something doesn't go their way is just insane. They need to learn that sometimes, things just DON'T go their way and other ways of dealing with it. If it was because of something they did, we look at what could have been done differently to change the outcome. If it was someone else who screwed up, we look at possible reasons. Idk, I don't want sissy children either. So far, so good.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:17 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Yeah my parents didn't want to raise sissy children either so I wasn't allowed to cry growing up, it's a great way to emotionally stunt your childrens growth if you really want to go down that avenue. Ten year olds cry but I have a feeling that if he cries because he hasn't been getting his way then it must have worked at some point because most kids who are taught that you don't always get what you want from a young age rarely cry because life didn't go their way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • OP Interesting responces. I did have to go back and re read what I had wrote to make some of you moms regard me as a "Mean Mom" and honestly I had to smile. I acknowledge my son tends to be sensitive. My concern is that the crying tends to drive away friends and being that I've never raised a son other than this one, I just wanted to know if it was something that I should be concerned about. Thank you to the Moms who reassured me he would grow out of it. And for you bashers out there, I'm sorry you couldn't be more constructive.
    CKasting

    Answer by CKasting at 2:01 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I have a son that is a bit on the sensitive side. He is 5. I work on him...it is not ok to burst into tears if things just don't go your way. Being frustrated is a valid emotion, so use your words to express yourself. It has taken some time but we are getting there. I don't yell at my son or think he is a sissy boy, but he does need to learn that tears should be saved for bigger things. This is not to say I want him to be heartless. If he see's an animal mistreated etc and feels sad, then ok, tears are fine...that is a sad thing. But screaming like you had your leg broke because someone pissed you off, is not.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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