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Why is being a wife and mother not enough for some women?

Society and feminism has taught us that we're being oppressed if we don't have careers. What is so wrong with being a sahm and raising your children rather than having them in daycare? What is so wrong with our job being to make our husband's lives easier and mothering his children? Unless you're a single mother, you can make it work financially so that you're able to be a sahm. It might take some work, but 99% of families could do it. I just don't understand why women get married and have children, then don't find satisfaction in being a wife and mother.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • By the way if My Husband made enough for me to be ASAHM I would do it in a heart beat. And I would not be board. I would sign up at the gym, go swimming, and walks, hikes, visit more friends and family more often and I would play games and toys, and read a lot more. I would always keep busy. But please for you stay at home Mothers feel soo blessed. Because you have No idea just how challenging and upsetting it is to leave your baby, especially when you know they need you the most and your not able to be there for whatever that reason may be.

    Just know how thankful your children are!

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 12:48 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • i'd go crazy if i just stayed home all day...i'm athletic and active...i need to be able to go to the gym, and be active...and work.......some women are fine with just staying home...good for them....but some of us just need to work cause it makes us feel good and accomplished

    Answer by aliishott2 at 10:00 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Nothing! I am proud to be a SAHM. I have 3 kids and 1 on the way. I worked for 9 years, but it would cost way too much for child care at this point. I don't understand that way of thinking either.

    Answer by momov4kids at 10:01 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • You likely never will understand. But do you really need to? Is my choice to work hurting you in some way? I doubt it. Nor does your decision to stay home hurt me in any way.

    Personally, I found staying home boring. My husband DIDN'T appreciate it; in fact he hated it and my son hated it more. Having mom home isn't for all families.

    One size never fits all, and that was the true message of feminism. If you don't want to work, don't! But if you don't want to be home, you don't have to do that either. Do what YOU want based on YOUR skills and desires, not based on your gender.

    Somewhere along the way someone perverted that into the belief that ALL women must work. NOT TRUE. Not one bit of it.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:06 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I love my family, I see that I am fortunate. But cooking and cleaning and raising kids isn't terribly satisfying. One can only go to the damn park so many times and hobnob with other moms and pretend it's interesting that there's a Valentine's party in Kindergarten on Friday.

    I would kill to work at least part-time but my kids are too little and it's financially not worth paying for childcare. I'd love to put my degree to work.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:08 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I completely agree. I am a proud SAHM and wife. I could have a career, but I choose not to. I chose to have my child, and now I'm choosing to raise him myself. It works for me bc I couldn't stand to be away from him all day. I know when he starts school I'll have to let him go, but until then I think it's vital that he has undivided attention. Call me old-fashioned, but I have no problem "just" being a wife and mommy. There is nothing more important that could earn my attention and time. Plus, it's not all boring. I still have hobbies, interests, and lots of fun. :)

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 10:08 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I am glad that so many women are able to be SAHM as they truly feel they want to be. I feel as though there is more to me than that. I LOVE being a wife. I LOVE being a mother. I LOVE being a veterinary assistant. It is part of who I am. Does it come first?-No never my family will always come first. In fact I dropped back to part time after having my children. Would I be dissatisfied with out it? Yes. -I would miss it. I enjoy doing my job just like others may enjoy scrap booking, movies or jogging. I am so lucky and so thankful to be able to be paid for something I love doing so much.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:20 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I am married and a stay at home mom for the moment!I cannot wait to go back to work!!To me,I want to participate in the life that my family leads.My husband works very hard and gets a decent paycheck.However,my children and myself do not have what I would like for us to have.So to me,it is selfish for me to crack him over the head and work him to death just so I can stay at home and play the woman part!It is my duty as a wife and a mom to provide the best life possible for my family and if that means that I have to go to work then so be it!Now a days it is very hard to maintain on one income,not just for me but for many!So I guess my answer to your question is,I am not satisfied with just being a mom and a wife because I know that I am capable of helping my husband provide the best life we can for our family.Plus my boys will have a better respect for women when they grow up knowing that their woman will help them if needed:)

    Answer by cgonzales542 at 10:20 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Honestly 99% of families could make it work if they gave up everything they have worked for. For e to stay at home I would have to give up my sons soccer my daughters ballet and we would have to buy or rent a house in a neighborhood that is not as nice as the one we are in. I would also haev to give up the very nice school they are able to attend. I COULD make it work but WHY would I want to? My kids have the best of everything. Including their parents. DH and I both work M-F (I am home when they get on and off the bus) so weekends are spent at ball games and recitals. Lunches in the park and trips to fun places together. They get us all they want and you know what? they get even more than that because I choose to work-For them! It's my choice. I am doing what is best for them in our situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Marriage and children complement a woman's life...they don't COMPLETE a woman's life. Some women are more than content to be homemakers. Others find great satisfaction in working at a job.

    As much as I love being a mother, I know that I won't feel like the "old me" again until I go back to work. I enjoy working. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy being a mother.

    Is a man less of a father because he is expected to work full time in order to support his family? NO! Then why is a woman less of a mother because SHE works outside of the home to support HER family? Think about it...

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:26 PM on Feb. 21, 2010