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Anyone want to give me some encouraging words? I'm kind of down..

So, I am young. And I was "in love," with this guy...we were together almost 4 years. He had some problems that were bigger than the both of us...but at 16 I wanted to help and I wouldn't let him stop me from wanting to help. So, we tried...well I know I tried. I tried so hard to make things work, I wanted to help him more than anything and I was crazy about him.

We had a baby together and then things started changing. I realized I was growing up too fast and that his problems had torn us apart and we were missing some very important aspects of our relationship.

So I left. It hurt so bad but I knew it was for the best. But he started talking to me...telling me how much he loved me and wanted to try again and I was dumb and slept with him and then when he realized I still couldn't help him..he dropped me like a bad habit. And he already has a new girlfriend.

I know I need to get over him...

Any encouragement? please?

Answer Question
 
nessani28

Asked by nessani28 at 9:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • This sorta touched me. i fell in love with a guy when i was 16 and we were together for a year and some change. he was my ALL i didnt everything for that guy. and honestly he was abusive, in both ways. but i knew he loved me. he cheated on me at the end of the relationship. i even tried to make it work. we argued constantly so we broke it off completely! and..... needless to say im still young im 19 and im married. im in love with another man, he is the LOVE of my life, the most important man to me. he is my world. but i feel you sweetheart! just move on. iknow its hard. but if you want to talk im here. u can message me if you want
    Armywifelovely

    Answer by Armywifelovely at 10:01 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Well what you're doing is as you say, on a much larger scale. Still, you have to weather these hurts to evolve as a person and in order to find Mr. Right. I believe the universe, God, whomever, doesn't just hand you Mr. Right until you're ready. Often that means several heartaches down the road. Be proud of yourself that you did give him up and saw that it was bad. Forget the slipup and his girlfriend. Chances are, she won't last long. Anyway, it doesn't involve you. For you, focus on your self, do things for you, feel the pain of his loss and then move on. You can't help him anymore.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:03 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I have been there! I was with my sons dad for five years and he was my high school sweet heart! It is very true what you said about you growing up faster than him! Guys are a lot different than us cause they don't think for two, they think for one and then if they have any energy left they will include the family. The thing that helped me the most was to focus on my baby and what I could do for him! Cause your baby is gonna always be there for you no matter what is going on! It is gonna love you unconditionally and that is something that you can't get from a boyfriend! So focus your energy and your heart on your baby and make sure that the baby knows that momma is always gonna be there no matter what is going on!! Keep your head up and do what is best for you and your baby! If daddy is having trouble then daddy fix his own situation, because you will have your situation handled!!
    cgonzales542

    Answer by cgonzales542 at 10:04 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Was he really gay?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • No....

    He has a new GIRLfriend.
    nessani28

    Answer by nessani28 at 10:20 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • hugsThe good news is that your eyes are open to the truth and it will make you stronger and able to move on. It' takes time to get over someone. Just stay busy. Try to meet new people and enjoy life. Each day the healing process will make it better until the pain is gone. I was hurt when I found out my ex had a new gf. Then I realized he was HER problem then so I felt much better and got on with my life! She's still stuck with his bs!

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:39 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • One day you'll realize that as nice it is to be in love and have someone, you DONT need a man to be happy and most men will never be as mature as you are. I've been with the same man for 5 years and we have a baby together and sometimes as much as I love him I know that we need help and if we cant make it through our problems then its best for us to call it quits. You also need to think about whats best for your daughter now. Does she need something like that in her life? You're young and as you get older you realize these things. The best advice I can give you is to put love on the backburner and focus on yourself and your daughter.
    krisholl2285

    Answer by krisholl2285 at 11:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • its hard to get over someone you are in love with, especially when you think they feel the same way and it turns out that they don't.. or they used you. It takes a lot of self exploration and time to really figure out who you are again after all that. You need to do what is best for you and your daughter, and if that means moving on from him, then do it. You will find love again, it really isn't a one shot thing. Next time, you will have a better idea of what you want and what you need.. and you'll be able to find someone who compliments you instead of someone you have to try and change into what you need and want.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:02 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • There is nothing I can say to make you feel better, you're going to be hurting for awhile. And then one day you will wake up and realize it just doesn't hurt so much anymore...but that isn't much help right now because why can't that day be today? It sucks when you love someone who obviously doesn't give a shit about you. I have been there and through that...and there is no way to make it better.
    Only know that it does get easier. It just takes time. And you will eventually meet someone wonderful.
    just focus on you and your child. That is what will help you make it through.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 9:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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