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Need advice...issues with hubby over mother-in-law

Ok so I am with a wonderful man, we've been together almost 3 years...we have a 9 month old together and pretty much from the start of the relationship I have gotten along with his mother...it always seemed whenever my hubby needed something whether it be money or anything else he would ask her for help..which kind of bothered me, but I never said anything...so about 2 months ago I received a settlement from a lawsuit that was filed in 2007...it wasn't tons of money ,but enough to cover my bills and have a nice little savings...I asked my hubby not to tell anybody...it seems ever since I got that money my mother in law asks my hubby for money and when he tells her he doesn't have it she gets mad and throws it in his face that she's always helped us...I confronted him because her attitude has changed...he denies telling her, but I really don't believe him..I got into a big fight with him telling him to choose..how can i fix it

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • "I'm sorry" sounds like a good start
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:26 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • Well I think you're right he has told her! Guys and their moms huh? Well if I were you I would stick to my guns! Sad to say but family is the first to do you wrong in any situation.Maybe if you switch the situation around a little. Ask yourself what would you do if your child needed help and you helped them? Would you ask for money once they got back on their feet? Would you rub it in their face that you had helped them before? What would you expect from your children?If you wouldn't then use that to help you get your opinion across.You may go even further and weigh the pros and cons. If you give her money how will the relationship be?If you don't how will it be? Can you guys handle the after math? Sounds like you guys can make it through anything together so hang in there and don't let someone walk all over you just because of who they are! You are woman and let her hear you roar!!! Good luck;)
    cgonzales542

    Answer by cgonzales542 at 10:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I'm not sure why you guys are keeping your money separate. If it's truly separate, then your money is your money, but if your bills are together, & his mom helped out, & you guys owe her money, then you need to pay the money.

    I'd love to be able to just give all 3 of my boys money whenever they need it, & never ask for it to be returned, but I simply can't afford to. We're very middle class, own a nice home, but we are trying to plan for our retirement, still putting a son through college, & at our ages, we would like to be able to relax and feel secure ourselves. Sometimes it seems like parents have an endless supply of money, but the truth is most of us don't, & some day you'll probably know this yourself. If you're married your debts are both of yours, & any income belongs to both & should be used to pay off debts.

    We've been married 22 years, & never separated our finances, I'd be careful finances can ruin relationships
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

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