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8 1/2 year old son won't behave....please help

My 8 1/2 year old son is driving me crazy. I just don't know what to do anymore. He will not behave for me. I'm told when he's with anyone else he's really good and well behaved. But as soon as I come home or enter the room, it's like a switch flips in him and he's horrible. He talks back, he's rude, he's unappreciative of all I do and have done for him.
I've tried grounding, taking things away, spanking, reward systems. NOTHING works!!!! I'm about ready to run away from home. Any suggestions...PLEASE!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Feb. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Spanking an 8 year old? Never heard of that one. That will make a child of that age act out even more. I would ground him like completely. No TV, no video games, no computer, no phone, no going outside, no having friends over etc, the whole nine yards....and keep it like that until he starts respecting you. When he does that...tell him, next time you are rude to me, or don't listen...this is going to happen again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I didn't need spankings when I was 8, but my brother got spanked 'til he was 13. Every kid is different! Definitely no TV or video games. Those stimulate the brain in ways that actually inhibit the judgement making, self-control areas. Are you a single parent? It sounds like you could use some help from your husband if you have one. Otherwise, I think you just have to be really tough. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2010

  • I heard someone else use this:
    Child must see the school counselor. Child MUST read a list of his behavior to the counselor (which gives a clear picture of what he's doing so counselor can ask appropriate questions but it also is a tad humiliating to do). This alone may do the trick. If he still doesn't shape up, he reads his list in front of the teacher and class. Naturally no kid wants that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Reading a humiliation list in front of classmates and teachers is AWFUL to make your child do. That will make them shape up, sure, but hold a grudge.
    lhunt8

    Answer by lhunt8 at 12:53 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Hmm tricky, He obviously doesn't see you as an authority figure, so you need to re-establish that. It needs to be obvious. If he acts up tomorrow morn. When he comes home tomorrow night I would have STRIPPED his world. down to a bed, matress, blanket and pillow. He earns absolutely everything else back.
    Tell him" this is a communist state, not a democracy, there will be no votes. " You do not have to explain or excuse any decision you make from this moment forth. Wake him at 6am, feet on the floor and get moving. You will need to be vigilant and hard to begin with to re-establish the pecking order. He's way past spanking or time out. You need to take his world away, then he earns back his priveledges. Be warned this is parenting in the trenches, bloody hard work and he will up the anti before he improves. You must stand your ground and not show fear or defeat.
    Good luck
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 1:06 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

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