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The Significant others EX

Ok so my question is how much contact is enough and what is too much? I'm dating a guy been dating for 5 months serious with it since 1st of the year. He has a 2 year old son with his Ex. They are constantly texting one another mostly on weekends while he has his son. He will take and send pics daily its annoying the hell out of me. BUT at the same time I've told myself i will never deny him contact from his sons mother. I've got 2 kids that are older. I talk to their father on a regular basis but ... more like twice a week not every week! Guess... like i said just asking what is tolerable and what is not. AND any suggestion on how to bring this up to him that its bothering me would be great! :) thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:22 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You said he texts mostly on weekends he has his son. I think he is being very kind to ex, she is probably having a hard time being away from her son and hes trying to make it easier for the both of them, The texting may slow down over time.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:34 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I would not feel comfortable with that. Why would he need to txt her when he has the child. An occasional txt that says "the child is doing fine" would be ok, but for him to constantly be txting her, i would be wondering if their relationship was really over with?

    Answer by toyota at 6:01 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If they are EXs they should not have much contact at all, IMO. Only when there is issues with the child. Daily, Weekly, NO WAY. IMO. If I was you I would back off from that relationship. He does not sould or look like he is over his EX to me. I would have to tell him how I felt about it.JMO

    Answer by louise2 at 6:03 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • OP here:

    see i know that she wants him back its only been a short time since they broke up i kinda jumped right in. AND i know what i jumped into. But thats how i feel too. I dont like being told one thing then led to assume another. I dont now how to tell him that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • It does seem excessive, but if they did break up only a short time ago, then it is possible that she's just not dealing well with being away from her child like that, and in the interest of being a nice guy, he's trying to make it easier for her. My suggestion to you is the same as to everyone who has a concern about something their SO is doing/not doing: talk to him. Communication is always the key to getting issues resolved. And really, this one is kind of easy. "Hey, hon, I noticed you're texting Jane constantly when you have Billy. John and I only text or talk once or twice a week. Is everything all right with her? Is there something going on that maybe I can help with?" This way, your concerns are out, but not in an accusatory fashion, he can easily tell you what's up, and if there IS something happening (ex: she's having trouble dealing) he might tell you and you might honestly be able to help her. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:20 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • wow, i couldn't deal with that! my kids talk to their dad 3 times a week, and him and i talk maybe once a month, and that's just me giving him and update on school and things like that. my SO and his ex barely ever talk...maybe 2 times a month, and that's just because she doesn't do anything for her son, so every once in a while we ask her to pay for his school lunches. just be up front with your SO and tell him that you think it's a bit much.

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 1:09 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

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