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would you stay with a man if you felt you couldnt rely on him?

Last night dh convinced me to wash the kids bed stuff for daycare saying he was going to be up so he would throw them in the dryer... Didn't happen. Then I knew he was going by something that had to be in the fridge. I was nursing my daughter so I asked if he would stick it in the fridge got up this morning only to have to throw that item away. I asked him to move the tv out of the kitchen and find a place for it cause it was ugly and taking up way too much space, I finally moved it into walking space (as far as I could move it) he still didn't move it so started a fight and got it moved... Now there's a box in its place in the kitchen... Defeats the purpose. I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to be able to rely on him like I used to... Then to make matters worse he's a pig and I blew up at him the other night cause I finally couldn't take it anymore... Guess what he's still a pig!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No. I just wouldn't set myself up for disappointment by expecting him to do simple stuff like that. I would rather deal with him being forgetful than deal with him being a raging drunk, a drug addict, an abuser, or a cheater.
    Ann_Ony_Mouse

    Answer by Ann_Ony_Mouse at 8:57 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • You must already have known he was this way? sound to me these things you are talking about a small petty stuff to me.
    Does he have a job he goes to every day, on time? Does he pay the bills, on time. Does he buy food and cloths for you and the kids. Those are things I would want to rely on my DH to be doing more then what you talked about.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:07 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I've been trying train my husband to put his underwear in the hamper for 8 years and let's face it, it's never going to happen. But he comes home everyday after work, he's good to the kids, he pays the bills and if we ever need money he's always made it happen. So does it make him unreliable because he can't put his clothes in the hamper and usually forgets to take out the trash in the mornings? Hardly, makes him a man and in my experience most of them can't find the garbage can OR laundry hamper with a map.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 9:14 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • So according to the first three answers as long as he brings in a paycheck it's okay to be a lazy ass at home. Wrong. Being forgetful is one thing, pure laziness is another. He remembers what is important to him, doesn't he? I cannot be the only woman who is sick and tired of the b.s. excuse that men are too stupid to rmember to take out the trash, move the heavy things we can't move, but they can remember when boy's night out is or when their game is on. Sounds like if you're alright with married to that man, you're okay with being his mommy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I bring in a nice amount of money too (not as much as him but still work 32 hours a week) I wouldn't care if it was the occasional forgetfulness thin but its everytime I ask him anymore. Also no I didn't know this cause he used to be very helpful and relyable. I don't know what to do about it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I bring in a nice amount of money too (not as much as him but still work 32 hours a week) I wouldn't care if it was the occasional forgetfulness thin but its everytime I ask him anymore. Also no I didn't know this cause he used to be very helpful and relyable. I don't know what to do about it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • If he used to be reliable and isn't now, then something else is going on. You need to ask him about it. And, yes, there will probably be a fight, but get past the fight until you both are really communicating and don't give up until he has told you what has changed to make him this way. You said you were nursing. New baby? That can change things because you are now concentrating on the baby now and not him. That's how it is supposed to be but he might not understand it.
    Marinewife531

    Answer by Marinewife531 at 9:57 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • i Have the same problem. I have threw away tons of meals because my DH leaves full coarse meals out on the stove all night. He never remembers to do anything but play the game and watch ESPN. I get annoyed all the time. As yes he does work, and pay the bills but thats not the only thing he can do. I get so sick of women just dealing with crap because the man works and pay bills. My dh is just lazy and unreliable. If I asked him to do ANYTHING that dosent involve him he conveniently forgets. As of right now whenever we go somewhere where we have to drive longer than 20 mins, I have to drive because he cant stay awake while driving, usually because he stayed up all night watching or playing a game. I totally understand what you are going through. The only thing that works for me is to turn the tables...sometimes I forget to cook, or wash clothes, or do somethng he told me to do. Its only then that he gets the point...GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I agree, these sound like relatively small things. Not irrelevant, but not enough for me to leave a man over. If I can't count on my husband to come home at night, or to let me pay bills with his paycheck, or to be faithful to me, then we have serious problems. I'm not saying your husbanddoesn't need to shape up, but I don't knw if it's worh leaving him. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:24 AM on Feb. 23, 2010

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