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If your ex was with a different woman and had kids with her, would you let him get visitation at their home even if you didn't like the woman?

Me and the other-well-new-woman don't get along for sh*t. She can't stand me. I can't stand her, but I can tell she loves their kids and she takes good care of them. She's a teacher, so she can't be bad with other people's kids or the school district wouldn't have hired her. But I still can't stand the thought of my kids being around this other female! Should I just get over it and let him have visitation at his place, or should I ask the court to make visitation at one of his relatives houses?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Feb. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (38)
  • Honestly, unless there is a real and good reason for the judge to keep the kids away from 'her', I don't see how a judge would let that happen. He has rights as the father and he should be able to have them in his home, whether you like it or not. In my opinion, you will have to 'get over it'. In the long run, I believe your fight with her, will have a lasting and bad impression on your kids.

    I do sympathize with you, I have been in the same situation. Really, just because of your differences with her, should not be reflected onto your children. Have you sat back and tried to figure out what the 'real' reason for your animosity? I think if you can identify that reason, it's closer to finding a way to deal with the situation as it is.

    Answer by Slaveprincess at 10:19 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • You need to just get over it and grow up.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 9:09 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • Yes the problem here is you and her for only God knows why you ladies shouldn't be this way not to mention the kids sense this so either let it go or be a witch about it and make things worse. The kids are there for their dad and her in a way since she take caare of them really don't have to me mean with eachother just a quick hi and bye and that is it you don't have to be friends either just be civil about it both of you. Do it for the kids it is not their fault on what happened between you and your dh. I think what you are feeling a tad jealous bc another woman is in the picture of your kids look at it this way as long as your kids are happy around her it doesn't matter so put your feelings aside (which is normal) and live your lives. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:09 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • The court is REALLY not going to look favorably on you if you try and keep your husband from seeing your kids just because you don't like his new wife. If it's just a personal problem it's no reason to interfere in his time with his day he may not the new man in your life and I'm sure you would appreciate the same amount of respect in return. It's not about you, your ex or the other woman, it's about what's best for your kids. So long as she is not a danger to your kids then I see no reason to interfere with his visitation.

    Answer by Slinkee at 9:10 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • yeah, get over it. most of us don't like baby momma, but you just have to deal with it

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:10 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • my answer earlier was harsh, sorry. I thought about it longer, and couldn't imagine having to deal with my son being mothered by someone else, even if its only for the weekend. I'd probably have shitty attitude about it too, but i would try really hard to make the best of the situation. (again, i really don't know how good that could possibly be)

    Answer by Christina2135 at 9:15 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I think your simply jealous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • OP here! Of course I'm jealous, and I'm woman enough to admit it. He cheated on me with this female and she knew about me and him. I LOVED him. I supported him. I took care of him. I massaged his feet after he had a long day. I am really really hurt-but apparently SHE is doing something for him that I wasn't. I want to be the better woman and just move on-but I can't see bringing another man around my kids because of what I went through with my mother's boyfriends. I'd rather be single until they are off to college. I'm not scared to stock up on toys. Toys won't cheat on me....but I still MISS holding him at night. It's been 5 years since we split. I'm just glad, in a way, that he and I were never married. What hurts the MOST is they DID get married-after only one year, and now they have a 2 year old and a 5 month old.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • yes i would. You don't have to like each other your not hanging out with her. Your child deserves their father in their lives and I don't think my pettyness should interfer with that. It wouldbe tough but it wouldn't stop me. Besides if he cheated on you he'll probably cheat on her.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:50 AM on Feb. 22, 2010

  • I imagine it would be hard to have your kids around her. I would not try to get the court to change visitation to a relatives house as I think you would need to have actual proof that their house is not safe, and that she is not fit to be around kids. Your dislike is not a good enough reason- unfortunately. Plus Ithink that would give her satisfaction knowing that she is still getting to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Feb. 22, 2010